“I do. We still have things to work out, but it was a start. He knows he fucked up that night and said he regrets it. Do you know he can’t even say Bhodi’s name?” she asks me, her voice a whisper as she looks down into her mug while letting it warm her hands despite the hot temperature outside.
“I noticed that the day I got discharged from the hospital when he saw the jerseys in my office. He refused to say his name at all. It’s hard for me to say it some days, but I at least mention him. I’m leaving here early today so I can go to Bhodi’s grave. I missed the anniversary and my visit the last few weeks so it’s definitely past time for me to go there,” I say as I send a message to the florist a few stores down for my usual bouquet to take with me.
“He still hasn’t worked through his grief,” Elara says nonchalantly. “I don’t think any of us have truly worked through our grief, but he has done absolutely nothing about it. It might be time for him to see someone, but I doubt he will. Rex will always believe he can handle everything on his own and doesn’t need the help. How many times have you seen him since he saved you?”
“I’ve seen him a few times. He showed up at the house the day I was discharged and has stopped by my parents’ house once I think while I was there and awake. Then he stopped here todayto show me the security system. Elara, what’s his end game here? Does he want my forgiveness for what he did all those years ago?” I question my best friend as she looks up at me from over the rim of her mug.
“He could want your forgiveness. If I’m being completely honest with you, I would guess my brother is still in love with you and will end up trying to win you back,” she answers me, causing me to choke on my drink as I turn to face her.
“Your brother never truly loved me, Elara. He wanted a girlfriend who would deal with his bullshit and I was an easy target for him. If he loved me at all, he never would have treated me the way he did when we were younger. I couldn’t even get on his bike with him. Who the hell does that?” I return, my voice breaking a few times because it’s the most I’ve talked since leaving the hospital.
“Rest your voice, Tally. You’re pushing yourself too damn hard,” Elara says when I cough a little and sit back against the couch and pull the blanket tighter around me.
Before I can respond to my best friend’s demands, my phone rings where it sits in my pocket. I pull it out and see it’s the realtor calling me. My house was listed days ago after the club moved all of my things out and fixed all the damage. I haven’t been back there since the day TJ got arrested.
“Janice, how are you doing today?” I answer my phone as Elara leans closer to me so she can hear what’s being said.
“I’m doing fantastic. Taleah, your house has sold. We got a cash offer higher than the listing price. He wants to close fast and is ready to move in right now,” Janice informs me as I freeze on the couch and let her words sink in.
“Wow. That was definitely faster than I expected. I won’t put a stop to the sale. I’ll sign off on whatever you need me to,”I tell her as tears fill my eyes and I can’t stop them from falling. This is definitely a more emotional experience than what I was expecting it to be.
“If you can come in tomorrow, we can sign all the paperwork and get the process ended,” Janice says because she knows what happened at my house. Most of Glendale does at this point. Well, they know a version of what happened because the rumors are running rampant through town.
“Thank you,” I say before hanging up and laying my phone on the arm of the couch.
Elara pulls me into her arms and holds me while I cry. She doesn’t say a word or ask me questions. She knows I need to process and that takes time. Right now, I think it’s time for me to leave. I can go to Bhodi’s grave and be alone. Elara hasn’t been there since his funeral and I don’t blame her. It’s really hard to visit him knowing I’ll never see him in person again. However, I also know it’s something I have to do because I’m the only one who does visit him. Bhodi doesn’t deserve to be forgotten or left behind because it’s too hard to go to the cemetery.
“I’m gonna head out now. My car is in the back parking lot,” I tell Elara when I can finally calm down enough to speak.
“Okay. I’ll walk you out,” she says, pushing herself off the couch and grabbing our mugs to take care of while I fold the blanket and grab my phone before standing up and grabbing my walker.
Elara and I slowly leave Fantasy Realm after telling my staff goodbye. They know I’m not putting in full-time hours right now. None of them are angry because they get to work longer and make more money. I love the girls who work for me and they all deserve a raise. I can check on that once I get home from the cemetery and can sit in front of my laptop. Elara walksoutside first to make sure no one’s hiding in the parking lot. She wouldn’t let me go in front of her when she’s pregnant and shouldn’t be taking risks like that. TJ won’t hesitate to hurt her if it means hurting me. He’s that big of a monster.
When she declares the parking lot safe, I follow her outside and we head for my car. I unlock it and place the walker in the backseat once I’ve folded it up. Elara makes sure I’m safely in the driver’s seat before she walks back to the store and heads inside to go through the front door where her car is parked. I start the engine and leave my store to head for the cemetery. The music remains off and I have the windows rolled down the slightest bit to allow cool air in the car because it’s hot as hell. I don’t want to run the air conditioning because then I’ll be too cold. Plus, fresh air is better any day of the week if you ask me.
It doesn’t take me long to get to the cemetery where I park and get out to grab the offending walker. The walk up to Bhodi’s grave is longer than normal and I have to stop a few times along the way. I’m covered in sweat by the time I make it to him, but I don’t sit on the ground like normal because I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get up again.
“Hey, Big Brother. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I was last here. A lot has happened since then. I’m officially single again. TJ went too far and I was stupid enough not to believe he’d hurt me the way he did. Bhodi, he broke into Fantasy Realm, beat the hell out of me, and stole money from the safe and register. It took me a while to remember what happened, but I remember every single detail. I know you’re up there shaking your head at me, wishing you could tell me I never was good at picking the men I let in my life,” I say, allowing a small smile on my face as I lean over my walker to clean off his headstone.
The flowers didn’t get delivered before I left the store so I don’t have them with me. We can keep that bouquet at the shop and I’ll bring him some next time I come to visit. I just wasn’t expecting the call from Debbie about the house so soon and it threw me.
“I have to use a walker right now. It’s horrible, but it’s the only way they guarantee I won’t fall on my ass like a fool. My legs still aren’t as strong as they should be. The main damage was the bruising and it’s pretty much faded now. But I was in bed for a week and a half only getting up when I was in physical therapy. That didn’t help the situation. I also have to work on my left arm. It was dislocated and hurts more often than it doesn’t. I’ve never felt pain like that before. Plus, I had a huge bump on my head that caused the temporary memory loss. TJ really did a number on me,” I say to the stone in front of me as my legs start to protest standing on them for so long.
I lean heavily against the walker and hope it doesn’t fall over with me on it. There’s no one here to help me get up if I fall. I have my phone in my pocket, but that doesn’t always mean I can call for help. Cell service here is sketchy at best and I don’t always have a signal until I get back to the parking lot. I’d be in major trouble if something happens here right now.
“I sold my house, Bhodi. I couldn’t go back there knowing everything that happened with TJ and how much he hurt me. He turned my sanctuary into pure chaos with his partying and the constant rotation of girls coming and going. Yeah, he cheated on me in my own home. He destroyed everything and didn’t give a shit if I had to pay for repairs or clean every single day because he was too lazy. I was expected to do everything on my own while he sat on his ass and used my money for his fuck toys,” I say as more tears fall because it’s the very first house I bought and a dream Bhodi and I had for so long.
When we were younger, Bhodi and I used to talk about buying homes next door to one another. I wanted a smaller house while he wanted a mansion filled with everything we love. I can’t tell you how many times we talked about that. Then Elara and Rex joined in once we were friends with them. The four of us were always going to live near one another. Now, we all live in the same town but nowhere near one another. And Bhodi is buried in a cemetery. It’s not fair at all.
“I should probably mention that Rex is definitely back in town. He’s the one who saved me when TJ beat the hell out of me. Then he showed up the day I was discharged and walked through the house with us. He still can’t say your name, Big Brother. Not when we were talking and Elara said the same thing. They met up after all this time and had dinner. I really hope they repair their relationship. I never liked that she chose me over her brother when everything happened.
“Elara seems to think Rex loves me, but he never did. He loved the idea of having a girlfriend who wouldn’t make a scene when he treated her like she was disposable. I gave him exactly what he wanted. Now, he’s got a ton of women to choose from. And I won’t ever forgive him for cheating on me. I really hope you didn’t know about that Bhodi. Though, you wouldn’t have let him hurt me that way,” I say letting the tears fall but knowing I’m about done talking for the day because my throat is starting to hurt. “I have to go now, Bhodi. I love you always and will come back soon. Hopefully I won’t have the walker next time I visit.”
Using my walker, I leave Bhodi’s grave and head slowly back toward the parking lot. Again it takes longer than normal because my vision is blurred by tears and my legs are really bothering me today. It’s the first time I’ve been on them like this since the attack and I’m rethinking coming here. By the time I’m finally back at my car, it takes every ounce of strength I have leftto fold the walker and put it in the backseat before collapsing into the driver’s seat. I take a few minutes before I start the engine and back out of the parking lot. I’m ready for bed when I get back to my parent’s house. I’m not allowed to go to the house I once called my home. Not that there’s anything left there for me anyway. Rex moved it all into his basement so it’s not in a storage unit and he can keep everything safe until I find a new home. For now, it’s something I don’t want to think about as I drive and prepare to go to bed despite the early time.
Chapter Eleven
Master
