Page 173 of My Real Love Affair

Maybe I should turn around. Save us both the pain of this conversation. She could go find some guy who had his shit together and knew what he wanted. I could ghost her. Hop on a plane and go to Mexico or maybe Ibiza. That was how I kept things at arm’s length.

The door swung open before I could knock. Melody stood there in soft gray loungewear, loose pants and a fitted long-sleeved top that hugged her curves in a way that made my mouth go dry. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, a few strandsframing her face. She wore no makeup that I could see, and she was absolutely stunning.

Fuck me, I missed her. Missed holding her. Missed being inside her.

“I saw your car pull up,” she said softly. “Were you just going to stand out here all day?”

“I was considering it,” I admitted.

Her lips quirked up. “Come in, Austin.”

I stepped inside, and she closed the door behind me. The townhouse smelled like vanilla and the usual citrus scent I would forever associate with her. That beautiful smell had gotten under my skin weeks ago.

“These are for you,” I said, holding out the lilies.

Her eyes widened as she took the bouquet, bringing it close to her face. “Stargazers,” she breathed. “They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”

“They reminded me of you.”

She looked up at me with a huge grin on her face. “Let me put these in water. Make yourself comfortable.”

I watched her disappear into the kitchen, then settled onto her sofa. My leg bounced nervously.

“I made muffins.” She came into the living room carrying a plate stacked with them. Then dashed out only to return a few seconds later with two cups of coffee.

And then she rushed out again.

She was acting like an angry bee. Rather, a busy bee. Clearly, she was just as nervous as I was. That almost made me feel better.

Melody returned with the flowers arranged in a clear vase, setting them on the coffee table where we could both see them. She sat on the opposite end of the sofa. “Thank you for coming.”

I raised an eyebrow. She sounded so professional, like we were going to have a business meeting.

“Thank you for inviting me,” I replied and immediately felt like an idiot.

“We need to talk,” she said.

Here it comes. “Yeah. We do.”

She took a deep breath, and I braced myself.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few days,” she started. “About what I want and what I need. About what I’m willing to compromise on and what I can’t.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice. It was evident she had thought about what she wanted to say. I wasn’t going to interrupt her prepared speech.

“Austin, I care about you.”

Her eyes met mine, and they were shimmering with unshed tears. My heart practically stopped beating. There was a sharp pain. I knew what was coming. I prepared myself for the words, but I couldn’t have really braced for it.

“So much more than I ever expected to when you grabbed me at that wedding. This thing between us? It’s real for me. It stopped being fake the second you looked at me like I was the only person in the room.”

My heart pounded. “It’s real for me too, baby girl.”

She smiled at the nickname, then grew serious again. “But I need you to understand something. Motherhood isn’t negotiable for me. It’s not something I can compromise on or give up or put aside for the right person. I want children. I want to be a mom. It’s been part of my vision for my life since I was a little girl. I tried to tell myself I didn’t need it, but I do. I thought maybe I could find fulfillment in the traveling and excitement of having no responsibility, but that’s not enough for me.”

“I know,” I said quietly.

“And I heard what you said at dinner. That you’ve never wanted kids. They gross you out and annoy you.” Melody sighed. “I respect that honesty. But I also need you to be honest withyourself about whether that can change. Because if it can’t?” Her voice cracked slightly. “If you hit a point where you know for certain you don’t want kids, I need you to let me go. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how good we are together. I’m asking you to love me enough to let me go, if that’s your answer.”