Page 127 of My Real Love Affair

“This started as an arrangement,” Melody said carefully. “Both of us needed something. You needed your family off your back. I needed to restore my reputation.”

“I remember.”

“But now I think this is something different.” She paused, seeming to gather her thoughts. “Like we crossed some line from pretend to real, and I can’t remember exactly when it happened.”

“Does it matter when?”

“Maybe not. But it matters that we both acknowledge it.” She looked at me directly. “This is real for me, Austin. You’re real for me. And that’s scary as hell.”

I took her hands in mine, needing that connection. “It’s real for me too. Maybe the realest thing I’ve ever had.”

“Really?”

“Really.” I struggled to find the right words. “I’ve never told a woman I loved her. Never even come close. And I’m not saying—I mean, it’s early, and I don’t want to screw anything up.”

“Austin, you’re rambling.”

“I know.” I took a breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I can see myself falling for you. Hell, I might already be falling. And that terrifies me because I don’t know how to do this. Don’t know how to be in something real.”

“So we figure it out together.” Her voice was soft, soothing. “We take it one day at a time. We make mistakes. We learn. We grow.”

“And if I fuck it up? Because you know I will. It’s kind of my specialty.”

“Then we deal with it when it happens. But, Austin, I’m not your family. I’m not going to expect you to be perfect. I just need you to be honest. To try. That’s all. I don’t want anything from you. I mean, I do, but not in the sense your family does if that makes sense.”

“It does.” I nodded.

“Good. Because whatever this is—I want to see it through. Not for appearances or reputation or any external reason. For myself. For us.”

“Me too.”

I kissed her, pouring everything I couldn’t say into that kiss. All the fear and hope and desperate need to not screw this up.

When we broke apart, both breathing hard, I stood and pulled her up.

“Come with me. I want to show you something.”

I led her up to the top deck, past the hot tub and dining area, to where the crew had set up a sunbathing area. Thick cushions covered the deck, creating a makeshift bed under the stars.

“Lie down with me,” I said.

We stretched out side by side. I pulled her close so her head rested on my chest. Above us, the sky was a blanket of stars. I took a moment to simply enjoy the moment.

“It’s beautiful,” Melody breathed. “I think I feel my soul healing.”

“Your soul?”

“I read a book once about how humans needed to touch grass basically,” she said. “We’re meant to be in nature. It energizes us. It gives us peace. I think living in the city where stars are next to impossible to see, we’re missing out on one of the elements our souls need.”

I considered her words. “Maybe. Makes sense. Touching grass. Dipping your toes in the sand. Stargazing. It is all very peaceful.”

“It’s stunning.”

“Yeah.” But I wasn’t looking at the stars. I was looking at her profile and the peaceful expression on her face.

My mind started spinning.

Not in a bad way. In a really good way. But it was all so foreign. I didn’t quite know how to process all the thoughts that were cascading through my head.