“Because I’ll miss you too much. I can’t live without you.”
“Stop. You’re being ridiculous. What about the police? What are we going to do?”
“Tell them everything about Grace,” he says. “Don’t worry if you feel like it gives you a motive. It will make her seem like exactly what she was—an unhinged psychopath. That’s what we’re counting on.”
“What about the wound on her head?”
“She fell onto the rocks.”
“What about?—”
“Stop, Brie! We can come up with a million whatabouts, but at the end of the day, the police will settle on the simplest and most likely explanation. It’s not uncommon for people coming off that medication to have suicidal thoughts. Murder is a thousand times more unlikely, especially by an English professor and a bird scientist.”
“What about—” He tries to interrupt me, but I elbow him in the stomach. “Shut up. Give me this one. What if they find out about us?”
“It doesn’t matter. That’s a motive for Grace hurting you. But why would we need to hurt her?”
“The money, of course.”
“I’d get the money in a divorce. There’s no need for murder.”
Grace said otherwise just before she died, but I don’t press the point. He’s been talking to a divorce lawyer, so I’m guessing he knows the details better than Grace. I feel like we’re walking through a garden and Bradley is pointing out rare and beautiful flowers, but every time I look, all I see is weeds.
He turns me around and kisses me, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a velvet box. “I was going to wait, but I can’t. I want you to have this.”
I open the box cautiously, as if it were the jaw of an alligator. It yawns open to reveal a diamond ring.
“I know you don’t want to wear Grace’s jewelry, so I thought I’d get you your own.”
I gently touch the diamond, then pull away. I feel like an alarm is about to ring out and announce that I’m a thief, a liar, a parvenu.
“For God’s sake, will you put it on?”
“Bradley,” I whisper. “This is too much.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not proposing or anything. But I want to give this a real shot.” He waits a second, then laughs. “Say something. Every passing second is a crushing blow to my ego.”
I take the ring and put it on, shaking my head.
“You’re giving me mixed messages.”
“Bradley.”
“That’s my name.”
“It’s too soon. It’s wrong.”
“No.” He sounds angry. “That woman controlled me for years. I’m not going to let her take anything else from me. Especially not you.”
“She’s not,” I say, touching his arm gently. “But why don’t we wait?”
“Because this is my life! I’m tired of being sensible. I’ve invested my entire life into a job and a marriage, always trying to do the right thing, always ignoring what I feel—and for what? Neither of them wanted me.” He hugs me around the waist and looks into my eyes. “I love you. Be with me.”
“This isn’t fair,” I say. “I can’t think.”
“Don’t think, then. Don’t be rational. Just do what you want for once in your life!”
It feels like a curse word. What I want? Since when does that have anything to do with the choices I make? According to my mother, life is about responsibility, about doing the right thing. About sacrifice.
