Deryn nodded, but something told Paloma the fake niceness and the return to their business arrangement upset her ostensibly.
“Yes, I mean, sure, I will wrap up here and come upstairs.”
Paloma saw the hurt in the emerald eyes, and something inside her twisted painfully. She wanted to sigh. Or scream. She wanted to get out of here. Instead, she reached out and gave in to the impulse she had been fighting since she came down to the kitchens. Paloma’s fingertips caressed the sharp jawline and wiped the white chocolate off Deryn’s face.
“I’ll see you upstairs.”
She turned on her heel and left. As the elevator doors shut behind her, Paloma lifted the fingers to her mouth and licked the sweetness off of them.
“So, the book bans?”Deryn, in tight jeans with only one hole in them—she must’ve taken some of the words in theinvitation to join Paloma seriously—held her hand gently and very demonstratively, lest any of the Crow’s Nest townspeople mistake their relationship for anything else.
She didn’t need to try so hard. Paloma could see on the faces of everyone they met that theCawhad done a lot of good in spreading this story far and wide. They had gotten many smiles, some sneers and winks, and quite a few whistles. Deryn ignored all of them. Paloma admired this kind of self-confidence and comfort with fame.
She did not enjoy the attention. It grated, and it made her skin feel too tight, foreign, her bones too sharp for it. Still, she smiled back, tried to ignore the sneers, and usually joked or teased those who whistled or catcalled.
“Paloma? The meeting? Library issues with the books, I thought you said?”
Deryn squeezed her hand for emphasis, and Paloma flinched.
“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to.”
“No, no, you’re fine, Ms. Crowha… Ah, Deryn…” Something in that rough, calloused hand, something in the way it held hers, so strong, so…
The flashback was more vivid than her reality. The way the light fell on Deryn’s hair—the light mahogany of it—and the green eyes, the feeling of her hand being held tightly, being led through the crowd to the town hall…
“You will need a notice of intention to build for the permit ledger. And other papers. Have you perchance gotten any of them already? Never mind. I will help you. I’ve had to do so for my bake house. We will get you a lawyer to take care of everything… I know a few, they’re friends of the family—the Astors—or my brother himself. Don’t fret. It will be alright.”
The woman, so like Deryn and yet clearly not, looked at Paloma, who wasn’t Paloma at all, with wide and kind eyes. Eyes full of affection. Of lov?—
Someone jostled Paloma from the side, bumping into her, only to be pushed away by Deryn, and she shook the vision off.
Focus!
“The Library Board of Governors meeting. Ceridwen informed me a few weeks ago and opened it up to the public for the first time in years. Usually, they meet amongst themselves. To my knowledge, they only have one thing on the agenda.”
“The challenged books.”
Paloma threw Deryn a sideways glance.
“What?” Deryn pouted. “I am reading theCawtoo, nowadays. But also, I live with Ceridwen, and while I understand that you don’t think me much of an intellectual, we do discuss…um, stuff. Sometimes.”
Paloma smiled.
“I disagree with your assessment of my opinion of you…Deryn. I don’t think you lack intellect. I think you have laser focus. As in, you only care about what you care about and pay attention to those things. You must care about the library?”
Deryn touched the back of her own neck, her eyes on everything but Paloma.
“Well, let’s just say I care about Ceridwen. And this is something that matters a great deal to her.”
Paloma was aware that her smile widened. It was really very sweet, the love the sisters clearly had for one another. She had honestly expected the rest of the quartet to show up on her doorstep with shotguns when theCawbroke the news about them. Maybe Deryn did confide in them that this arrangement was fiction? The thought felt like a punch in the solar plexus. Like a betrayal.
Why did she care what the other Crowharts thought? Why was it important? And yes, technically, Deryn signed an NDA, but Paloma knew how these things worked, and she wasn’t going to hold it against Deryn if she told her sisters, as they seemedinordinately close to each other. Moreover, Paloma believed that if they knew about the true nature of the relationship, they were also keeping it a secret because they liked her…didn’t they? And they wanted her to win. Hadn’t Lachlan implied as much?
“Thank you.” Deryn’s voice was barely a whisper, and it sounded very close to her ear. Paloma realized that while she was quietly and quickly spiraling in her mind, Deryn had safely guided her past the vendors of the busy Market Square and into the even busier town hall foyer.
“Well, you’re welcome, I’m sure.” Paloma gave Deryn’s leather jacket a little flick with her fingertips, more to feel the soft leather, seeking any kind of sensory grounding and closeness, than for any lint that might’ve been there.
“Ah, Ms. Allende.” Ceridwen touched her forearm. “I’m so glad you could join us today.”
