Maybe he pretended not to notice, but Liam moved about as if I wasn’t unnaturally stiff.
He clipped the training collar around the dog’s little neck, put the leash on it, grabbed his coffee, and then looked up at me.
There was no avoiding the question in those stormy eyes. He waited patiently, letting me take him in.
“Are you alright, cailín?” he asked.
I gave him a nod, snatched my drink, and followed him out the door. The sky was filled with fluffy clouds, tinged with grey. The weatherman said it would storm tonight, which was a fitting backdrop for my heartbreaking plans.
“Aren’t the guards coming with?” I asked as we made our way down the driveway to the front gate.
Liam shook his head. “No, it'll be a fine day when I can't protect my own.”
I fidgeted with the ice-cold drink, my fingers numb where they wrapped around the freezing plastic.
“Is something wrong with the coffee?”
I took a quick sip and then let out a short laugh. “Nope, it tastes sickly sweet.”
“Is there a reason you don't want me with you this morning?” Liam pressed.
I had to face him. I had to look him in the eye when I said what was next.
“I’m glad you’re coming with me this morning,” I admitted. “We haven’t spent much time together since you became the head of the organization.”
“That’s true,” Liam added. “Part of the reason I wanted to be with you today.”
“And what was the other?” I asked, curiosity warring with panic inside my chest.
Liam plucked the drink out of my hand and took a sip. He made a face. We were almost normal, but I didn't feel like laughing or smiling. There was still an ocean between us.
“The other reason,” Liam repeated, answering my question, “is that I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh, you told me that already,” I said, wiping my hand against my jeans before taking the cup back.
His voice was a gentle caress. “It’s not every day that you kill someone.”
He was worried I was in shock. Nothing more. I took a deep breath before swallowing some of the hazelnut latte.
“Well, for you it is,” I countered.
He let out a hoarse laugh, tugged on the leash to make Storm heel, and we fell into a comfortable silence the rest of the way to the park. I tried to think of anything and everything else to keep my mind off the reality that this man was so sweet. His hands might be permanently bloodstained, but he had never been monstrous to me.
If only there was a way to make this work….
While I might be safe with him, that secret was too fragile to breathe into existence. I bottled it up, locked it tightly away, and determined to protect it at all costs.
“I noticed you have a collection of sports memorabilia in your home gym,” I offered when I couldn't take my inner turbulence that the silence brought on.
Liam sat down on my bench and crossed a leg over his knee. “I haven't been to a game since….” He pointed at his mask.
I frowned.
“Too many cameras,” he added by way of explanation.
I winced for him. “I'm so sorry. I’ve never been to a game, but I’ve heard they’re fun.”
He cocked his head, looking at me without hiding behind the mask. “Would you like to go? The Red Sox are in season now. The Patriots will start up the regular season in two weeks. The Celtics won’t play until this fall, but I still have season tickets to their games. Take your pick.”
