I slide next to her on the swing, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her forehead. “Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t make you feel safe, I made mistakes too,” I say, leaning back a tad so I can look into her eyes. “I told you I’d love you forever and I meant it . . .”
“But I hurt you. I didn’t trust in us, believe in what we had,” Olive finishes the statement I was going to make. She shivers a little, her bottom lip quivering from the cold night air.
“Let’s go inside. I want to talk about this, but I can’t focus when you’re freezing and I’m worried about it.” It’s true, we have shit to work through. Shit that won’t get accomplished if I’m stressed over her body temperature.
We stand, making our way indoors, and Olive and I settle into the couch, her crisscross applesauce in the middle, facing me, as I sit on the end and look toward the fireplace. In the silence, it feels like minutes pass, although I’m sure it’s merely seconds.
“Sam, you did make me feel safe. I’m sorry that I made you feel otherwise. It’s just that my entire life I’ve been told—”
“Stop, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable sharing.”
“Yes, I do. I want to. When I was growing up, I was never good enough. I tried so hard to meet expectations, but no matter what I did, there was always room for improvement. Growing up that way made me afraid to let anyone in. I always thought that if I did, they would see me and realize that I wasn’t what they wanted. When I went with Irina that first time, I told her I wanted to wear my heart on my sleeve. She did exactly what I asked, but then I freaked out. All these doubts and insecurities crept in on top of me already feeling crazy out of control from what was happening physically,” she says, looking at me tentatively.
“I understand that, I do. I can’t imagine how you must have felt, still feel, having grown up like that. But I don’t understand why you thought you couldn’t talk to me, or why you thought I was using it to my advantage.”
“I guess it was that first night, when you were gauging my reactions in your bedroom. I loved it, but it also made me wonder, is this just a fun game? Is he only into me because I’m easy to read, literally? And I know now that’s not the case, that it was my insecurity, but that’s how I felt . . . and each time I noticed you glancing at my arm, the fear festered until it consumed me and I couldn’t see anything else.”
I take a deep breath. I understand what she’s saying, but it still hurts. I wish she would have just asked me.
“How do you feel now?”
“Well, I had a long talk with my mom, and I realized that I was never the problem. Not that I’m perfect, but she took her insecurities out on me. And then I talked to your mom and realized that everything I felt in my heart about you all along was true. You are kind, generous, caring. You make me laugh insanely hard and can sass me right back when I get testy. Youare the most talented man and work hard for everything you have. Basically, when I close my eyes at night, you are everything I’ve ever dreamed of having in a partner. I love you, like truly madly deeply. I’m hopelessly enamored with you.”
My heart melts. She loves me. I grab her by the waist and hoist her into my lap, nuzzling my nose into her hair and inhaling my favorite strawberry scent.
“I love you too. More than you will ever know, in this life and the next. But I need you to promise me something.” I sit back so I can look into her eyes, grinning a little at how adorable she is.
“Anything, I’ll promise anything,” she rattles out.
“Oh, really?” I wink at her.
“Okay, maybe not anything, but most things,” she relents.
“Promise that if we do this, you’ll be in it for the long haul. I can’t handle losing you again. And promise that whenever you feel unsure, you’ll come to me and let me remind you that I’m never leaving,” I say, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.
“I promise I will never leave. I promise I’ll always tell you how I’m feeling. I will wear my heart on my sleeve for you. I promise to cherish the little moments, the mundane and seemingly meaningless times that come and go without even making a blip. I promise I’m going to make you meet my parents and marry me. I promise I’m going to have your adorable little babies, and I’m going to spend every Sunday baking with your mom. I promise that I will love you forever, in this life and the next.”
I lean forward pulling her into a kiss. It’s soft and tentative at first, but she swipes her tongue across the seam of my lips and it quickly turns passionate. We are exploring each other thoroughly when Olive breaks away from me, heaving air.
“Sam, I, oh my God. My arm, it burns,” she says, rubbing at it fiercely.
I grab her arm to inspect it, but in the blink of an eye, it transforms. Where minutes ago there was nothing, now thereis a beautiful road map. At the top of her arm there’s a small heart, then a pile of books with BKB written on the top, a sign that reads Flashing Ahead, and Boo the ghost surrounded by pumpkins.
“Olive, I think it’s . . .”
“It’s our love story,” she confirms.
Below Boo, there is a tiny movie screen withPractical Magicetched on it, a replica of my cabin, and a pumpkin muffin. The whole thing is pieced together with pumpkin vines that twist and tangle effortlessly. And finally at her wrist, written in script, it says,She wore her heart on her sleeve, and they lived happily ever after.
Epilogue
January 16- 11 Weeks After Halloween
“Hey, baby.” I lean forward, pressing a light kiss to Olive’s lips. I’m seeing her for the first time today and can’t help but notice she’s far more dressed up than I instructed. “I thought I said comfort.”
“This is comfortable, and it’s not like you gave me any idea where we’re going,” Olive says, rolling her eyes playfully while smacking my arm gently. She has on a flowing skirt with a sweater tucked into it, not the jeans I had pictured. But then again, when is she ever underdressed? I love that she doesn’t worry about fitting into the situation as much as she once would’ve, and Anne will appreciate the outfit.
I clear my throat, a lump of nerves settling in. “Uh, we . . . Let me try that again. You look beautiful, as always.”
