‘Me too.’ And I do. I do look at him. There’s fear in his eyes. Want and wonder. The same cocktail that’s been swirling in my gut since I walked through his door.
Can this be real?
He notches himself at my entrance. For a heartbeat, neither of us dares to breathe. Then he surges forward.
The first inch is a shock.
I knew he was big. But knowing and feeling are two different universes, and what I feel is my body splitting open around him, every nerve screaming ‘yes’ and ‘wait’ in the same breath. It burns. A burn that lives right next to pleasure, one breath from tipping either way.
‘Shit. Shit. Oh god, that’s… You’re so?—’
He sinks deeper. There is no room left for thought. Only the thickness of him. For this.
‘Okay?’ The word is barely a rasp. ‘Am I hurting?—’
‘No.’ I grab his jaw, making sure he can’t look away. ‘You’re everything. You are… god—’ My voice splinters. ‘Ah! Yes… Keep going. Like that. Like?—’
His brow drops to mine, and he exhales into my mouth. We’re still. One. His heart almost beats in my chest, that’s how close he is.
‘Move, for the love of God. Move.’ I tilt my hips because I’m dying. ‘Please.’
‘Fuck. Ava, wait.’ The veins in his arms are straining as he braces above me. ‘Stop moving. I can’t hold back if you do that.’
I clench around him deliberately. He hisses, a harsh, fractured sound.
‘Ava! You’re going to make this embarrassingly fast.’
‘Bet you I beat you to it.’
‘Challenge accepted.’
The first full thrust punches a moan out of me. He retreats until only the tip remains. My hips follow him on instinct, refusing to let him go.
‘Oh! Oh, yes. Scottie… So good… So… Yes…’
His low grunts of effort match my gasps. My nails rake lines down his sweat-damp back. He hisses and pounds harder. The sting spurs him on.
He covers my mouth to stifle the moan I can’t hold back. ‘Tell me this is real Ava. Tell me I’m not dreaming this. Tell me I get to keep you.’
I pry his hand from my lips, pressing his broad palm against my cheek. His eyes stay locked on mine even as my body rocks with each thrust. ‘You’re not… Ah—not dreaming. I’m here. I—’ He spears deeper and the words scatter. ‘Don’t stop. I want to feel this tomorrow. I want?—’
‘Christ, Ava. Why must you feel so perfect?’ His large hands bracket my jaw, tipping my head up until I’m trapped in his stare. ‘I want to watch you. Want to see your face when you?—’
The pleasure is winding to a scream, blisteringly hot and fast and tight – a fist of heat in my belly.
‘I’m going to— I’m going to… I’m coming. I’m… Ah?—’
‘I know. I can feel it. Feel how tight you’re getting around me.’
‘Ah! Ohhh god…!’
He slams so deep my vision fractures. The second wave barrels through me, more wracking than the first. My mouth opens on a silent scream. Desperate, uncoordinated thrusts, his face twisted with the effort of holding on. He buries himself to the hilt, and I feel him come inside me. The muffled groan he buries against my neck is utterly mine.
We collapse together. He doesn’t pull out yet, and I don’t want him to. I want to feel him softening inside me. His weight is crushing, but I hook my ankles behind him and hold him there. With me.
Eventually, he eases out and rolls to the side, discarding the condom somewhere. He is back before I can say Nutcracker.
I rest my cheek against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat slow down while the sweat cools on my skin. His fingertips wander down my bare back. The movement is rhythmic and soothing. I’m wrecked, exhausted, and…giddy.
