Of course. I wrote that brief myself, weeks ago. Back when pretending to be Finn’s girlfriend wasn’t slowly suffocating me.
Yep. I’m the creator of my own undoing.
I approach Finn, who’s finished signing a rugby shirt with his number eight. ‘They want a photo with us.’
He nods, gaze locked down like a vault. ‘Where do you want me?’
In my arms. In my bed. In my fucking life.
‘By the banner,’ I say, pointing to the Kick Off Kindness display. ‘Good branding opportunity.’
We position ourselves side by side, but Trish frowns. ‘Could you stand closer, your arm around her?’
Finn’s hand hovers low on my back. There, but not touching. It sets me on fire, and I want to scream.
‘One more,’ Trish says. ‘Look at each other this time?’
I turn toward Finn as he turns to me. Our eyes lock, and for a second, the store, the crowd, the whole charade falls away. There’s only him and his sky-blue eyes that see too much.
‘Theo,’ he says, so quietly only I can hear.
‘Don’t,’ I whisper back. Because if he says anything real, anything true, I’ll fall to pieces right here under the fluorescent lights.
The flash goes off, we both blink, and the spell breaks.
‘Perfect.’ Trish reviews the shot with a grin. ‘That’s the one.’
I step away, pulling my phone from my pocket. ‘I need to check some emails. Excuse me.’
I don’t wait for his response, just turn and stride toward the back office, each step measured and controlled. Calm, composed, and absolutely not shattering inside.
The back room is full of boxes of merchandise and a desk cluttered with invoices. I sink into the chair, hands shaking as I set down my phone. Today isn’t just hard because I’m pretending to be with someone I pushed away.
It’s hard because I’m pretending not to love someone I do.
I stood next to him not two minutes ago, and every cell in my body exhaled like it had been waiting. Being close to him – feeling the heat of his body, hearing his breath hitch when I leaned in – cracked something wide open. He looked at me like it still hurt. And it did. For both of us. But being that close again… God, it felt like the first right thing in ages.
Finn is the only thing that makes sense.
I’m in love with him.
Sweet Jesus, I’m in love with Finn Lennox.
And I urged him to leave for France without even asking him if that’s what he wants. I pushed him away and closed the door on him, like his mother did.
Shit, I cocked this up so hard. There’s no coming back from that. For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix this.
I’m not a fixer, I’m a mess and it’s all my fault.
That’s when the tears come.
That’s also when the door creaks. I wipe my cheeks with both hands and sit taller. The footsteps stop directly behind my chair.
‘There you are! Thought I saw you disappear.’ Charlie’s voice has this deep tinge of someone who’s clearly successful and thoroughly satisfied. Twice daily, based on her glow.
I blink rapidly at my phone screen, pretending to be working on a social posting.
‘Are you okay, Theo?’
