To be loved like this.
To … love like this.
It almost makes me mad.
Because I’m aware that I’m the one holding back. I’m the one too scared to let the world see us. And see me as weak and irrational, irresponsible, and unprofessional. I couldn’t even make it a full year without another rugby player in my bed. They’ll think I’ve got no spine. That I roll onto my back for thick biceps, chunky thighs, and a bit of beard.
He lays it out there like we’re the most natural thing. He’s already decided, and I’m gonna have to get on board.
And god, I want to. I want to be that person who doesn’t give a shit what people think or how it might blow back on me. I want to be brave, let him take me out and make me laugh and hold my hand without looking over my shoulder. Piggyback rides and public smooching and kissy brunch.
But that’s not me. Never has been. I play it safe and keep things tidy. Professional. Managed. Contained.
Except with Brodie.
With him, I’m already becoming someone I don’t recognise. Someone uninhibited, desperate to keep…whatever this is from slipping through my fingers.
Dammit. I have to figure this out. But not now. I need more time.
I can’t speak, so I nod, lips parting on a shaky breath. ‘Okay.’
‘Good. Now grab your shite, Champ. We’re gonna miss the flight.’
Chapter19
Brodie
The plane’s a different kind of playing field, and Charlie dominates it. I take her in from my aisle seat, trying hard as hell not to look as besotted as I feel.
She’s perched in the window seat next to me, laptop balanced on her knees, explaining something to Finn about social media engagement. His pink hair looks neon under the overhead light as he leans over from across the aisle, actually paying attention for once in his life.
‘So basically, you’re saying I should post more thirst traps?’ Finn waggles his eyebrows.
‘I’m saying you should post content that aligns with your personal brand while maintaining professional standards.’ Charlie doesn’t miss a beat. ‘Though given your…aesthetic, that probablydoesmean the odd thirst trap.’
‘Personal brand?’ Scottie says from the row behind us. ‘Finn’s brand is chaos incarnate.’
Finn turns around to flip him off. ‘At least I have a brand. What’s yours? Professional wallflower?’
‘Boys, let’s keep it civil at thirty thousand feet.’ Charlie smiles butgives them both a pointed look over the rim of her computer.
Pride settles low in my gut watching her handle them. These lads gave me shite for weeks when we first pulled the team together, testing every boundary. But she’s got them eating out of her palm.
Finn tips his chin at me. ‘And when’s MacRae getting his own cooking show, eh?’
Laughter ripples through the lads. I sink my teeth into my cheek.
Charlie doesn’t lift her head. ‘Careful, Lennox. Last bloke who took the piss ended up signing a three-series deal. You keen to be my next client?’
Finn’s cackle dies mid-choke.
Scottie leans into the aisle. ‘Naw, he’s allergic to success.’
‘Fuck you, Kerr.’ Finn pegs a scrunched napkin at Scottie.
Charlie taps her pen against the screen. ‘Finn, the only stats I’ve got on you are from your dating profile. And they’re not impressive.’
A beat of silence. Then Jamie’s dry chuckle. ‘Brutal. I like it.’
