She found the bread and cheese and began toasting it, then made a pot of tea when water came to the boil. Excellent oolong tea it was, with honey to sweeten it.
She looked up warily when he entered the room, dressed in casual country buckskin breeches and a blue coat cut more loosely than formal wear. As always, he had the innate elegance that had captivated her the first time they met.
“Don’t look as if I’m a lion about to pounce,” he said with amusement. “I won’t start the interrogation until we’ve eaten.”
It didn’t take long to consume their simple breakfast. Anthony swallowed the last of his tea and set aside the cup. “Are you ready for the lion to pounce?”
The last bite of her cheese toast turned to sawdust in her mouth. She washed it down with a swig of tea. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Good, but first a prologue.” He stood and closed the space between them with two long steps so he could pull her to her feet and kiss her.
Her shock instantly dissolved. She gripped his arms, dizzily aware that this was a kiss designed to burn away all rational thought and it was succeeding. His mouth was hot and demanding and called forth an intoxicated response from her. Her body molded into his like heated wax.Thiswas why they’d been so insane seven years ago—this passionate need to become one heart, one flesh, that had seared away all doubts and common sense.
Too much time passed before she managed to summon the will to wrench herself away. “You cheat, Castleton!” she gasped.
“If the prize seems worth it,” he said, not pursuing her. “Words aren’t enough, my lady fair. Passion is so much a part of this particular relationship that it can’t be left out of the calculation.”
He’d called her his lady fair in that early, more innocent time. She swallowed hard. “What exactly do you want to know?”
He leaned back on the fieldstone surround of the fireplace, crossing his arms on his chest as he watched her. “Your explanation of why you left made sense and I understand now why you behaved as you did. But why are you trying to run away from me now? Yes, seven years have passed, but I still feel the same connection with you that I felt before. Am I imaging that you feel it, too?”
She turned and began pacing the wide room, unable to meet his gaze. “There is still connection,” she admitted, “but it’s not enough. The reasons why I feel we have no future are less clear than the vicious threats your father made.”
“Start with unclear reasons and perhaps we may work our way to clarity,” he said.
“It’s not really that complicated, Anthony. Then you were too young. Now I’m too old.” She stopped pacing and turned to face him. “You’re one of the most powerful men in Britain, and it’s a blessing and a tribute to your mother that you want to use that power wisely. You need to marry a wellborn young virgin who is wise in the ways of politics and society, not a jaded, scandalous older woman like me.”
“I know you’re not a virgin,” he said, his gaze piercing. “Remember? I wasthere.”
Hot blood flooded her face and her gaze dropped. She would never forget the sweet miracle of that afternoon when they had given their virginity to each other in this very place. Their mutual wonder and sense of discovery had seemed like a forever pledge of love and trust.
Three days later his father had called on her and destroyed it all. In a whisper, she replied, “How could I forget? But seven long years have passed since then. I have not always slept alone.”
“Nor have I,” he said easily. “Shall we compare lists? Did you bed the nearest regiment? That would be exhausting.”
“Of course not!” she snapped.
“In case you’re wondering, I didn’t use my wealth to purchase the favors of every expensive beauty in the muslin company,” he said in a conversational tone. “Nor have I caught any vile diseases. Have you?”
She shook her head. “No regiment, but there were a few times when I was lonely enough to seek comfort in another man’s arms. Any comfort was brief, so I decided to devote myself to needlepoint and good works.”
He broke into laughter. “Good works, perhaps, but surely not needlepoint. Are you saying you’re not worthy of my magnificent ducal consequence? I’m having trouble understanding this.”
She looked away. “Something like that.”
“I’m disappointed in you, Diana.”
Her gaze snapped back to him. He continued, “Once upon a time you thought that women should have the same freedom to experiment with passion as men did. It was a dazzling point of view, one that I decided I shared. If you’re saying that you’re too experienced for me, I’m not convinced.”
She gazed at him as he watched her, passionate and formidable, and realized that she would have to reveal the devastating reality she’d concealed from everyone. “You want the whole truth?” she asked in a raw whisper. “Very well, you shall have it! After I left you, I found that I was with child.”
Chapter 12
That was a truth so shocking that it cracked his control. He tensed, no longer lounging against the fieldstone wall. “And?”
“I’d already set sail for Greece when I realized. I was . . . horrified but also jubilant that I would have something of you.” She closed her eyes as the tormented emotions of that time flared to scalding new life. “I had it all worked out. I would arrive in Greece as a widow and have my child there. After the child was born, perhaps I’d travel on to India. I would decide what was best when the time came.”
“But that didn’t happen?” he asked, his voice still quiet.
