But Heywood’s mind teemed with scattered thoughts. What was it about Cass’s effect on him that made him take leave of his senses? And why couldn’t he be lusting after Kitty instead of her fetching cousin?
Because, as usual, he wanted an illusion. Nothing was ever as it seemed. As a boy, he’d imagined that the army would be an exciting profession. But what he’d taken for excitement was really a morass of boredom and battle and long periods of yearning for family. He’d imagined Kitty as the perfect wife for him, capable of funding the revival of his estate. Instead, he’d discovered she was very different from the woman he’d imagined her to be.
He and Sheridan entered the ballroom to find three of the ladies already hanging presents on the tree set up in the corner. Kitty must have gone to fetch something, for she alone was absent.
Cass brightened as they walked in. “Oh, good, you’re both here. I want to put this one on the very top.” Gazing right at him, she held up an ornament made of tinsel wrapped around twigs that gave it the shape of a star. “I figure even tinsel stars belong somewhere they can shine above us.”
“I agree.”And you belong in my arms.A pity he had no right to say it.
“Would you mind putting it on top of the tree for me?” she asked, with a glow about her that made his heart clench.
“Better yet, I’ll help you place it up there yourself.” He dragged a chair over to the tree, then took her by the waist and lifted her up onto it.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, her eyes warming as she gazed down at him from the chair.
He couldn’t seem to release her waist—her pleasingly shaped waist that made him think of taking her into a bedchamber somewhere and . . .
“Heywood,” his mother chided in a low voice.
Right. Of course.Cass wasn’t for him.
He released her and stepped back, hoping neither Cass nor his mother had seen the longing in his face. Still, what would he do when Cass was gone? After the past week, he couldn’t imagine never seeing her again.
She stretched up to place her star at the top of the tree, and his blood heated. He could see her trim ankles and even a bit of shapely, stockinged calf. Good God, he had to get control over these obsessive—highly unwise—urges.
“So Cass,” his mother said, “do you have some suitor at home whom you fancy? Who might be looking forward to your return?”
He tensed, waiting to see what she would say. It hadn’t occurred to him that she might have suitors.
Cass avoided his gaze. “Not at present, no. But I’ll be having a season in London alongside Kitty, so I’m hopeful I’ll attract a suitor then.”
“I daresay you’ll attract more than one,” Sheridan said, taunting Heywood with a smile.
Heywood ignored him. “I daresay you will.”
“You’re both too kind.” Cass met his gaze with a heart-wrenching look of her own. “Would you mind helping me down, sir?”
“Of course not.” He clasped her waist and lifted her off the chair and onto the floor. But once again, he couldn’t seem to let go of her. Her waist seemed to fit perfectly in his hands, and her eyes were a fetching shade of smoky gray that—
“My lord,” she murmured, “you can release me now.”
“And if I don’t wish to?” he asked gruffly, though in too low a tone to arouse the suspicions of the others, who were busy across the room, making more gifts to hang on the tree. “What will you do then?”
She regarded him with a clear-eyed gaze. “I’d wonder why you dally with a woman like me,” she said, her voice as low as his, “when you need a woman like Kitty.”
“Don’t tell me what I need,” he whispered. “I know that better than you.”
And in that moment, he realized the truth. He had found the woman who suited him, his perfect match. So to hell with what he thought he needed for Hawkcrest. If Cass proved willing to follow the drum and live on his paltry income, he would take her as his wife, even if it meant giving up his own dream for the future.
Because the thought of living without her was simply more than he could bear.
Chapter 7
Something was different about Heywood today. Cass couldn’t put her finger on it, but he seemed more . . . earnest. More intent on flirtation.
It intoxicated her, even though she knew that desiring him was foolish.
“How else can I help you ladies?” Heywood asked, his gaze fixed on her.
