“You appeared deep in thought since we left,” he said. “I hope you were not contemplating my sin in not telling you about the letter.”
“It was a small sin, one committed with the kindest of reasons. I would have only started worrying earlier, to little purpose.”
“As you are worrying now?”
She sat and hugged her knees. “Wondering is a better word. I only knew my mother the way a girl knows a parent. She only knew me the way a mother knows a child. I am no longer that girl or that child. What will we think of each other when we meet again? Will we be strangers to each other?”
“I don’t think that is possible.”
“I fear it might be. I am so different now. She may be too.”
“The only experience I had that was similar had to do with Stratton. He was gone five years, then returned. There was a small awkwardness at first, but very soon it was gone. The memories came back quickly. The bonds did too. Even if she is much changed, it will not matter.”
She rested her chin on her knees. “She will not be too much changed. Oh, her hair may have grayed and her form thickened, but . . .”
He waited for her to finish.
“She will still be a thief,” she said.
“You do not know that for certain. This may have all begun with a very old crime.” He could not believe he defended this unknown woman, but he did not like Amanda looking so pensive.
“You do not really believe that,” she accused. “You said she had to leave England too. You think she may even be in league with this man.”
“I only asked if that were possible.”
“And I said it was not. Only now I must admit that it was very possible. I had wondered in my heart if she was not his captive, but his partner. Only her attempt to reveal her location convinced me otherwise. After all, she told him about me. None of this would have happened if she had not.”
“Then I need to thank her, however it came about. I might have never met you otherwise.”
The distance vanished from her eyes. Her mood lightened. “Nor I you. It is said that some good comes out of even the worst evil.”
He reached out and encouraged her to lie down beside him. He embraced her with one arm so she nestled his side. “You are tired from the journey and it is making heavy thoughts weigh on your spirit, Amanda. Sleep now. Tomorrow we will find better lodgings than this, and I will find ways to keep the wondering at bay.”
She closed her eyes. “Thank you for saying you are thankful that this scheme meant you met me. I am grateful too.”
It did not take long for her to doze. He waited until she did before leaving her side. He returned to his own chamber, sat at the table, and opened his portable desk. After setting out the ink and paper, he penned a short letter to Sir James Mackintosh, the MP sponsoring the penal reform bill in the House of Commons, explaining that for reasons he could not disclose it would be better if he removed himself from efforts to change the criminal laws and penal code. He listed the peers who had shown positive interest in the bills, then signed and sealed the letter.
* * *
Amanda strode alongside the carriage. At her request, they had stopped so she could climb out and stretch her cramped limbs. Long summer days meant long hours jostling around inside the cabin, and she’d finally had enough.
The carriage rolled slowly beside her. Langford rode his horse a few steps behind her. “I should have considered that you would want some relief,” he said. “I should have brought a sidesaddle and a horse for you.”
“It would have been inconvenient. Also unnecessary. I do not ride, having never had the opportunity to learn.”
“That was careless of your parents. There are times when only a horse will do.”
It probably had been careless. She could imagine situations when a thief had to move quickly, and a horse would be the best transportation.
“We will rectify that,” he said. “In the least, I will make sure you become comfortable in a saddle, even if you will not become expert.”
It was not the first such pronouncement during the last few days. Yesterday their conversation had sometimes veered towards such practicalities.
Did she know how to cook?Barely, but well enough to feed myself.
Had she ever disguised herself as more than a shepherdess?There had been no need before.
Had she been taught how to defend herself?
