“Can you believe that no one has asked me that before? I am not sure I have even asked myself.” She did now, so she could try to answer. “My father remarried when I was a child. Since his new wife was not my mother, I may have noticed things I otherwise would not. The way she obeyed and deferred. The assumptions he made about his power over her and her property. I did not especially like her, but I still thought it unfair. I had more freedom than she did. I even had more of the real him than she did. He never taught her to shoot or took her hunting. Her place in his life was a very small one, it seemed to me.”
“There are some couples who share more affection than you are describing.”
“I do not know if they lacked affection. Perhaps they loved each other deeply. It made no difference. So I decided one day, when I heard her petitioning to visit a friend, like a child might beg a governess, and heard him deny her that small freedom—for no good reason, it seemed to me—I decided I would not live like that if I had the choice. And I did have the choice. Of all the privileges of my station, that has been the greatest one.”
He gently stroked her cheek with his fingertips. “Was it also your intention to live like a nun? To deny yourself physical love? It is a part of your nature as surely as your ability to think and to know emotion.”
“I never intended that. You are not the first man to kiss me. I have not lived like a nun.”
He leaned forward and kissed her. “That is good to know.”
Again those yearnings flowed, enough that she kissed him back with more aggression than she had used before. He turned hard and demanding in response.
“This will never do,” he murmured between kisses that belied his words. “If we keep doing this in places like this, inevitably we will be seen.”
She found the strength to press him away and create a gap between their bodies. His arms remained around her, however.
He was right. They risked too much with these games. She risked everything.
“Come with me to my house,” he said. “It is only a few streets away.”
She wanted to agree to go. Every inch of her body did. But those streets were the most dangerous streets in her world. Dozens of people who lived on those streets knew her. Hundreds. She could not ride down one of them without being recognized. Nor could he. To then risk being seen entering his property, his home . . .
“That will never do either,” she said. “You know it will not.”
“In a few minutes I may know it. Right now I want you so badly I do not give a damn who sees what.”
She had to laugh at that, ruefully. “I am not allowed to not give a damn.”
He released her from his embrace but kept one arm around her. “I will find a way. When I do I intend to take my time, after the hell I am going through.”
Take his time?
He noticed her puzzlement. He crooked his arm around her neck and eased her head next to his. “Kissing you. Touching you. All of you. Your neck.” He kissed her neck. “Your breasts.” His hand skimmed over her breast, creating a jolt of pleasure. “Your thighs.” He caressed her thigh from knee to hip.
He did not stop talking. He told her, in shocking detail, what else he would do. It was the kind of thing decent men never said to decent women. At least she did not think so. She would have stopped him except his words mesmerized her, and her simmering arousal threatened to become a conflagration.
A deep silence heavy with sensual power followed his scandalous description.
“We should ride back,” she said.
“I can probably do so in another ten minutes.”
It took her a moment to understand what he meant. Then she blushed hotly. He laughed.
Society had arrived at the park by the time they rode back to the gate. People were busy with each other, and being seen, so she did not notice too many people paying attention to them.
“I can ride home on my own,” she said. “Tell me which stable you arranged for me to use.”
“I will not hear of it. I will escort you there.”
She would have preferred he not do that. Now that she was riding again and no longer in his embrace, she could not rid herself of the feeling that she had been scandalous today. Deliciously so. Not because of the kisses but rather for having heard what he said, and how he said it, and allowing those faint touches and sensual provocations.
At her house, he helped her dismount, then took her horse’s reins. “I will bring him to the stable. It is Cooper’s place, in the western mews.”
“Thank you.”
He bent to give her a kiss before returning to his saddle and leading Duke away. She watched him until he turned off the square.
