“Ain’t nobody sad, Ma.”
“Mad,” she corrected.
“I ain’t mad either.”
“Confused.” She tried again.
“I’m clear on how I feel,” I countered.
“Conflicted?” my father questioned.
That feeling registered with me, and I hadn’t thought about it before. “That makes sense.”
“That’s really everything I said wrapped up in one word,” my mother concluded.
My father snagged another strawberry from the cutting board and chewed. “I’ma say this last thing, and then I’m gonna put you out your misery and change the subject.” He leaned forward with his hands on the island. “Whether you feel any of those words your mother used and don’t want to admit it out loud or just conflicted, understand that a child don’t know pride or time. All a child knows is it needs to be surrounded by loving people and a loving environment to thrive. Don’t let your feelings make you miss out on what’s being handed to you right now.”
“And what’s that?”
“Your family.”
The wordfamilyhit different when it was your own you were creating. Nodding, I just let his words sink in as we let the silence fall over us. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but a quiet that was needed to digest what had been said.
“You going to Grandma Lettie’s party tomorrow night?” my father asked, changing the subject like he said he would.
“Tried to get out of it, but Key on a nigga head like I’m missing the second coming of Christ.”
“Aye, lil’ nigga, my mama 70thbirthday is the closest thing to it.” He playfully swung at me.
“I wanna see you there, Pryce,” my mother said. “You and Adai. I wanna see the belly. I’ma bout to be a grandma. Ooouuu, her mama gon’ have to fight me over my grandbaby.”
“And you know Kelvin my boy, but I’m witchu, bae. So, if you got the wife, I’m on his ass.”
I watched the two of them spar like they were gearing up for grandparent wars and couldn’t help but smile. Dai being accepted back by my family with open arms when she returned was never a question. It was me that still needed some time.
Sunday night came fasterthan I would have liked it to. As the day progressed, I tried to come up with different excuses to get out of going to the party, but the way everybody with the last name Sullivan that had my number had been blowing up my phone, I knew that wasn’t happening. I messaged Dai when I woke up this morning and before I left for the party. Both times, she texted back immediately, assuring me that she and the baby was good. I didn’t bother asking if she’d be coming to the partybecause I was sure she would be if Kyiris had anything to do with it.
Kyiris had requested that everyone follow a strict dress code. And as I looked around the hall at the different shades of brown, nude, and cream, I was surprised to see that the entire family listened for once. She had decked the hall out, and I silently commended her for a job well done. I knew my five hundred went to good use. Jay stood near me with a drink in his hand, looking around like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Look at all this, man,” he said, gesturing to the family. “Niggas. All gathered in one place at the same time, on time. If I wasn’t so thugged out, I’d cry right now, real shit.”
“Yeah. Key wasn’t fuckin’ around,” Tay added from beside him. “I know G gon’ be boo hooing when she walk in.”
“Shiidd, she betta fall out,” Jay said. “I had to pay my baby mama to use her discount at Saks for this fit.”
“Who picked it out?” I asked. “Cause I think you overdid it with the Fendi printed shirt and the hat to match. Then the sneakers got the Fendi monogram on it too. You lookin’ like you just spent yo’ tax money.”
Me and Tay laughed, but Jay ain’t find shit funny.
“Yo, I asked that broad if this shit looked too matchy matchy. She all, ‘No. You look good, BD.’ Wit her lyin’ ass.”
“Played witchu.” I cracked up.
“Nigga, yo’ hat match your shirt too,” he argued.
“Yeah. But my shit ain’t loud.” We both looked at my fit. I had on a cream-colored Prada bucket hat and shirt. My sneakers were Prada and a pair of jeans from Zara. Simple and casual. Not doing too much.
“Whatever, man.” He waved me off.
