II. The Beam of Light
The beam of a flashlight cut through the darkness like a laser.
It hit Ryder squarely in the face, blinding him.
Ghost spooked. The horse shied violently to the right. Ryder, blinded and off-balance, lost his stirrup (the tape ripped with a sound like tearing skin) and nearly came off. He grabbed the mane, hauling himself back to center with a grunt of agony.
"Get off the horse."
The voice was low. Trembling.
Ryder shielded his eyes. He knew the voice.
Elena stood by the gate of the round pen. She was holding a heavy Maglite flashlight. She was wearing her coat over her pajamas. She looked small in the vast darkness, but she radiated a nuclear anger.
Ryder pulled Ghost to a halt. He slid off the saddle, landing on his good leg, clutching the fence for support.
"Elena," he panted. "What are you—"
"I said get off!" she screamed. She strode into the pen, fearless. She grabbed the horse’s reins and yanked them from Ryder’s hand. "Are you insane? Are you trying to kill yourself?"
"I'm training," Ryder said, leaning against the rail, taking weight off his screaming leg.
"Training?" She shone the light on his leg. She saw the duct tape hanging from his boot. She saw the sweat soaking his shirt. "You're taped to the saddle? That’s a suicide rig, Ryder!"
"I have to be ready," he said. "Tulsa is in two days."
"Tulsa," she spat the word. "So it's true. The contract."
"It's six figures, Elena! It's a truck. It's a future for Leo!"
Elena froze. She lowered the flashlight. The beam hit the dirt, casting long, grotesque shadows up her face.
"Don't you dare," she whispered. "Don't you dare use my son as an excuse for your addiction."
"It's not an addiction! It's a job! It's the only thing I know how to do!" Ryder shouted, his defense crumbling into desperation. "I'm broke, Elena. I have nothing. How am I supposed to be a father if I can't even buy him a happy meal?"
"You think he wants a happy meal?" Elena cried, tears spilling over. "He wantsyou! He wants the man who held his hand at the fence! He wants his dad to be alive, not a smudge on the arena floor in Oklahoma!"
"I'm doing this for him!"
"You're doing it for the applause!" she countered, stepping closer, getting right in his face. "You're doing it because you're terrified of being ordinary. You're terrified of staying here, in the quiet, and actually doing the hard work of raising a child."
She poked him in the chest.
"You're running, Ryder. Just like you ran six years ago. Only this time, you're looking me in the eye while you do it."
Ryder stared at her. The truth of her words cut deeper than the bone pain.
Hewasrunning. He was running toward the noise because the silence of the ranch—the silence where he had to just be a man, not a star—scared him to death.
"I can't stay here," he whispered. "I'm not like Cole. I can't be the farmer. I need... I need the ride."
Elena looked at him. The anger drained out of her face, leaving behind a cold, devastating clarity.
"Okay," she said.
She stepped back.
