24
Nikki droppedme at the office the next morning to collect my things. Four hours of sleep had dulled the migraine’s edge but done nothing for the hollow ache of loneliness in my chest. The precinct halls were conspicuously empty, no sign of my team, no messages waiting in my locker. The text I’d sent Angel still sat unread. As did the report I’d submitted for his review.
Ivan had been unusually eager to come home from Xavier’s high-end borrowed apartment across the Veil, which should’ve set off alarm bells. But between ensuring Grandpa’s fridge was stocked and corralling Ivan and Peanut Butter back to my apartment, I’d managed to avoid thinking too hard. Now, after a scalding shower that left my skin pink and raw, I planned to lose the day in laundry and takeout, anything to keep from staring at my silent phone.
No word from Hanna yet about my mandated training. No SED agents or military officials kicking down my door. I focused on Ivan instead, watching him tease Peanut Butter with a feather wand. Nox materialized in his Maine Coon form, twitching his tail at the toy.
“Want me to dangle that for you, too?” I asked my brother.
Ivan flipped me off without looking up. “Jerk.”
“If I were a cat, I’d be all over that fuzzy worm thing.” My voice sounded strangely hollow, careful. The last thing I wanted was Ivan worrying about me. I’d spent my childhood walking the minefield of my parents’ emotions, and Ivan had enough of his own trauma without adding mine.
Peanut Butter executed an impressive backflip, growling when Ivan tried to reclaim the toy. Nox watched with interest, as if studying the cat for future reference.
“You okay?” Ivan asked.
“Sure.” The lie came automatically, polished from years of practice.
“Where’s Angel?”
The question hit like a sucker punch. “He’s healing.”
Ivan’s eyes narrowed. “Must’ve been bad if it put a shifter out of commission. Shouldn’t you be with him?”
The shower hadn’t been hot enough to burn away the memory of Angel’s averted gaze or casual comment about breaking our bond. “He’s got plenty of help.” The words tasted like ash and heartbreak. “I’m awaiting word from my boss on a training schedule.” If I had to train with Lilith, would that mean more time across the Veil? What sort of things would a goddess of death expect from me? “I can take you to Grandpa’s for a few days if I end up having to spend time across the Veil again.”
“I’d rather stay here,” Ivan said.
“Did something happen? With Xavier or the creepy twins?”
Ivan shook his head but let out a long sigh as he jiggled the toy for Peanut Butter. “No. Not really. The twins stood guard. Xavier avoided visiting at all. Luca arranged groceries and anything we needed.”
“Luca?”
“Xavier’s assistant.”
“Oh. I didn’t know he had one.”
“Luca’s a shifter, small like me. Golden Asiatic cat, I think. Seemed nice enough. He paints. Has more in common with Nikki, I think, than me. But he was nice enough.”
What wasn’t he telling me? “But you didn’t like staying there? Did it feel unsafe?”
“No. More that it wasn’t home.”
I blinked and looked around our apartment. “And this is?”
Ivan stared at me for a long minute then nodded. “More than anything else has.” He shrugged. “You don’t look at me and demand I be something.”
“And Xavier did?”
“He doesn’t look at me at all,” Ivan muttered, then added, “I have no idea. He’s hard to read.”
No kidding. The whole supernatural badass vibe meant Xavier’s “fuck-off” mojo superseded him. “The only thing I want from you is for you to feel safe and happy. I think Xavier wants to protect you. He has this whole take-care-of-shifters persona.” That was the only reason I allowed the guy to be anywhere near my little brother.
“Yeah,” Ivan agreed, focused on me. “Do you want to talk about Angel?”
“No.”
