When I didn’t move, he nipped my chin with sharp teeth.
“Ow, you pest. Where’s Peanut Butter? Go bug him.”
Nox kneaded his claws against my bare chest, a blunt, grounding pain. I winced but sat up, knocking him off. He glared daggers at me, though I had no idea what his problem was. He’d never been mean to Jude.
My stomach roiled at the memory of Jude, strung up like a damn marionette. A lifeless doll. Soul torn to shreds to save me.
Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back as I heard the faint sound of cursing coming from the other room. Whispered, as if someone was trying to be quiet.
I got up and tiptoed to the open door, staring out into the apartment we’d borrowed from Xavier. How I’d gotten there was a mystery, but I hoped it meant my whole team was safe. Had we won out against the fae and the military? Maybe now that Jude was gone, the military didn’t care what happened to me.
Ivan sat on the couch in the dark, a printer sitting on the coffee table in front of him, its buttons illuminating his face in a soft, ghostly glow.
“Ivy?” I whispered, using Jude’s nickname for him.
He jumped, a full-body flinch that reminded me of a spooked cat, all arched back and puffed tail.
“Sorry,” I said, moving closer. He looked guilty, hunched in the dark. “You okay?”
A stupid question. His face crumpled.
I sank down beside him. Peanut Butter was a warm, curled weight against his leg. Ivan fought tears, a battle he was losing. None of us were okay. I’d just been clinging to the ghost of a scent, trying to convince myself our bond wasn’t completely gone.
“It’s my fault,” he choked out.
I opened my arms, an invitation, not a demand. He stared for a heartbeat, then collapsed into the hug, burying his face in my shoulder. His frame shook.
“It’s not your fault,” I said, the words thick as I rubbed his back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.”
The admission cut like a knife to my soul. If anyone was to blame, it was me. I’d cut his life strands, but he’d already been stolen from us, used, tortured, and lost in hopelessness.
He was my mate. My job was to protect him. Instead, I’d spent what little time we had fighting my instincts, trying to slow a bond that terrified me with its intensity. I’d told myself it was for him, to not scare him away. The truth was, it scared me, too. Needing someone that much left me vulnerable and raw. Without him, how long would it take for me to fade? Would we be together again when that happened? I hoped so. I wanted to apologize to him for holding back.
I’d have to move fast on plans for Ivan and Grandpa. Xavier would help, but that thought brought another complication. “Ah, you and Xavier…” I started. Was he even here? “Is he in the apartment?”
“It’s just us and Grandpa. He’s asleep. I think Keanan’s outside.” Ivan sniffled, pulling back to grab a wad of tissues. He’d clearly been crying for a while. “Everyone else left to get some rest.” He hesitated. “I pretended to be asleep so they’d go.”
At least he was still here. Jude would’ve been shattered if his brother had run again.
“Why fake it? You look drained.” Even in the low light, the exhaustion was carved into his face. My mind turned to practical horrors, waking up early, planning a funeral. Jude claimed he didn’t have many friends or family, but I knew there were more than a handful of people who respected him enough to grievehim. “I’ll handle the funeral. All of it. You don’t need to carry that.”
I glanced at the mess beside him, scattered papers, his phone dark on the couch cushion, a notebook filled with scribbles.
“We have nothing to bury,” Ivan growled, the sound raw and venomous. “That monster took his body.”
My brain short-circuited. The words just hung there, not making sense. “What? Took his… Who?”
“Erlik. The shadow demon who thinks he’s a god.” Ivan’s eyes glittered in the printer’s glow, a hint of something glowing beneath them. Was he fighting a change? “He’s not. I’ve been researching. Nox has been helping.” He jabbed a finger toward the printer. “Erlik’s just a petty demon on a power trip. He’s got worshippers because he promises them things, but he’s nothing. And I’m going to prove it. Nobody gets to take my brother and just walk away.”
“Jude’s body is gone?” The question twisted like a blade in my gut. Destroyed? Or still clutched in the monster’s grasp? I sucked in a sharp, painful breath. The idea of not being able to lay him to rest, to give him that final peace, made it hard to think.
“The military is on watch for him,” Ivan said. “Like he’s gonna shamble back as a zombie to tear the Veil open again. But the tear sealed right after the demon dragged him through. I saw it. Would’ve done something if Xavier hadn’t held me back.”
I must have been out cold when it happened. The memory surfaced in fragments, the shockwave, Wade’s face hovering over mine. Could Erlik use Jude’s magic just by holding onto his body? The thought turned my blood to ice. My training from the last demon war was brutally simple, you shred animated corpses until nothing big enough is left to move.
The room tilted. The image of Jude reduced to… bits… made the air too thin to breathe. I couldn’t do that. I’d already failed him enough.
A weight landed in my lap, and sharp teeth pinched my chin.
