Chapter Thirteen
Aweeklater we celebrated my divorce (which I was all-too-happy to be finished with, though Greg did not look his best). We took a short road trip for the weekend to a cabin two hours away. I was afraid we would die from lack of eating and so much exercise in bed. I didn’t even notice if we had a TV or not because we were each other’s entertainment.
Before undressing me on one of our many bedroom rendezvous in the cabin, Harvey’s tone turned solemn. “Can I ask you something? Why is it you are so against giving or receiving oral sex?” I sighed, hating to have to explain this, which I never even told Greg.
“Greg and I started dating after he saved me from my ex-boyfriend, Justin, who almost raped me,” I started, giving up my long-held secret.
“What?” he spit out.
“Yes, my high school boyfriend would make me give him blowjobs, even when I didn’t want to. Sometimes I even threw up from him pushing my head so far. I didn’t know how to leave the relationship, and I was in love with him. Thought I was, anyway. I don’t know... I was young and dumb enough to think he loved me and that what I was doing showed him I loved him too. But then one day he wanted to have sex with me, and I refused. I was technically still a virgin and felt I wasn’t ready yet. He started struggling with me. We were in his car, and that’s when Greg saw us through the window and pulled me out of the car. I’ll be forever grateful to him for that,” I said, knowing I’d ruined the mood. “Greg didn’t know about the forced oral sex. He probably thought I just thought it was gross or something.”
“Well, thanks for telling me, but you should have had that fucker arrested,” he said, pulling me into his arms. I put my arms around him too and his warmth seeped into me.
“It’s way in the past now, and I don’t like to think about it, but I wanted you to know. And I always felt bad that if I couldn’t return the favor, then I didn’t want anyone giving me oral sex. It’s how I felt.” I shrugged my shoulders.
Harvey held me close for a while longer and whispered, “I don’t ever want you to be hurt again. I want to be here to protect you. Will you let me?” he asked, sincerity deep in his eyes.
I nodded, a tear running down my face. Oh, how I wanted that. How I wanted him! Not just physically, but completely and forever. It hurt to think of losing Harvey again. He hadn’t crossed my mind in months because it pained me too much to realize that the best man in the world was out of my reach. But there he was... telling me he wanted to protect me.
I kissed him, falling onto him. He kissed me back, proving with each touch and kiss he meant what he said. He was gentle in his caresses, in his nibbling of my ear, neck, breasts... and then he traveled farther down. I made to stop him, but he asked me to trust him. Nervous, I let him proceed past my stomach and lower still with his tongue. The first flick was like a flame, and I cried out, grabbing his shoulders. The second one, I tightened my grip, and when he spread my legs apart and increased the tempo of his tongue, my insides were about to explode.
“Come for me,” he said as he continued to work sheer magic and adding a couple of fingers to the mix. I shattered, trembling in wanton abandon, moaning to each spasm that wreaked havoc on my body. He lay next to me, trailing his fingers over my stomach, my breasts, playing with them.
“Oh my god,” I said.
“Yep,” he said, looking proud of himself. I giggled and touched his cheek, kissing him, tasting myself on his lips. I reached between us, finding he was hard, and happy that he was still ready. I moved my hand up and down, watching his face as he enjoyed my touch. He closed his eyes, and I stopped. I kissed his chest, then his stomach, but when I went lower, he pulled me back up.
“You don’t have to just because I did,” he said between labored breaths.
“I want to,” I said. “Trust me.” And I went down again, taking his full length in my mouth and pleasing him like I’d never wanted to please a man before. It seemed to work because he gave low groans, and before long we both fell onto the bed, naked and satiated. After a few minutes, I got cold and pulled the covers over us, and turned to him.
“Was it OK?” It had been so long, and even when I’d done it last, pleasing my partner hadn’t been on my mind.
“Oh, it was more than OK. You’re more than OK,” he said pulling me to him and hugging me to his chest. We lay content for a few minutes, soaking in each other’s warmth.
“I’m afraid I told you a lie,” he said. I pulled my head back and looked at him.
He laughed. “That day in my office when I told you I was in love with you back at your parents’ house, I made it sound like it was only then. But that’s not true. I loved you when you were crying about Greg after you found out, when you kicked him out of your hotel room, when you were scared to go zip lining, when you kissed me that time at my mom’s house, when we made love on your bed at your parent’s, that day at the picnic, ever since, and now. I love you now, and I always will, Audrey. I didn’t know it, really, until I saw Greg show up at your parents’ that day.” My heart expanded with each word, and I was speechless.
“But, you were still married at that time,” I whispered.
“I had known my marriage ended way before that trip. But you. You have put me under a spell. Your sincerity and understanding... your courage.... your beauty... I mean, what’s not to love about you? I’m not married anymore. My divorce finalized a month ago. Did you hear me tell you that I love you?” he asked expectantly. All of these things he loved about me— saying I was shocked is putting it mildly. I’d never been so afraid and happy at the same time in my life.
“Harvey, I’m scared,” I confessed. “Relationships haven’t been good to me.”
“Cause we found each other a bit late, darlin’, but here we are now. Tell me you don’t love me. Break my heart and I’ll leave, but that’s not what you want, is it?” he asked, running a finger along my jaw.
I shook my head, took a deep breath, and said, “I love you too, Harvey. I’ve loved you longer than I’ve let myself admit. You’re a good man, funny, and always taking care of me.” I had to catch my breath after that, especially after the kiss he gave me. “And you’re hot as hell,” I blurted out, sending us both into an argument over who was better looking. He kept insisting I was, which still surprised me.
Soon we were making love again, and nothing ever felt so right as having him inside me. It was liberating and enslaving at the same time, being with this man who let me be myself and loved me for it. I’ll never let go of him again.
“Tell me one more time,” he said as we lay on the floor of the cabin bedroom after our lovemaking. His eyes searched mine.
“I love you,” I said, kissing his arm.
“I love you, too,” he said, caressing my cheek.
When, at last, I talked to my mom a few days after our weekend road trip and explained to her about us, she couldn’t believe it. She was overjoyed when she got used to the idea. But then she said the strangest thing.
