“Harvey? This is why I asked what we were doing. I wanted to know what you thought we were doing,” I said, as I put on my sandals. He was already packing up our trash.
“Audrey, if this is just revenge sex, then I thank you for it, I guess. But, no, that’s not what this is for me,” he started walking back towards the car.
“Harvey! Don’t walk away,” I said. He stopped and turned around. I continued, “I like you a lot, obviously. I like doing that with you. But what else can this be? We’re not even divorced yet. I recently had a miscarriage with my husband who I was— and maybe still am— in love with. This can’t be anything else but revenge sex.”
“I get it,” he said with a sigh. He didn’t sound angry anymore, but I read the disappointment in his face.
“You’re angry with me?” I asked. I couldn’t stand it if he remained upset with me.
He walked back over to me, and kissed me, but it was a quick peck, unlike any other kiss he’d given me. “No,” he said, and we walked back to the car, this time not holding hands. The drive back was quiet, and I was sad that things had changed between us. What did he want from me? I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s girlfriend.
We got to my mom’s house, and there was a car in front. It wasn’t my Aunt Lucy’s beat up minivan, and a neighbor wouldn’t drive over when they’d simply walk. I approached the front door with a hint of anxiety. When we walked inside I stopped short, seeing that my father was coming from the kitchen, and behind him, my husband.
“What are you doing here, Greg?” I spit out, an unknown rage building inside me. How dare he invade my only place of sanctuary?
“I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he said, keeping his distance. He looked behind me at Harvey, his face darkening.
“I texted you telling you I was fine,” I said. I looked past him at my dad, “Why did you let him in here?”
“He says you two haven’t had a chance to talk, and I think every marriage, even a broken one, deserves a conversation, Audrey. Don’t you?” he said. My dad, always quiet, picked now to speak up.
I looked back at Harvey, who was visibly tense, and I mouthed, “I’m sorry.” I don’t think that made any difference because he stalked back out the front door to god-knows-where. Exasperated, I walked to the backyard, hoping Greg had the sense to follow me.
He closed the door behind us, and I sat on one of the plastic chairs, waiting for him to speak. I would stay quiet and listen to every single word he had to say, once and for all, so that I’d never have to hear him again. Since I didn’t start the conversation, he finally did.
“Audrey, I’m glad you and your family are alright,” he said. When I said nothing, he continued, “OK, I guess I’ll do the talking. I’ve already told you I’m sorry, which I am, but I also came to tell you that people make mistakes, that no one is perfect, that I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life, and I will regret it for the rest of my life. I’ll make it up to you each and every day by loving you and making you my queen, which you deserve to be. I’ve never been so wretchedly depressed than these days without you. Baby, it’s as if I’ve lost an arm or a leg. I don’t know how many promises I need to make but I’ll make them all if you will give me a second chance.” He stopped, but I said nothing, in shock that he thought I could even consider going back to him.
“Everyone deserves a second chance, don’t you think? We’ll make it work. I’ll make it work. I’ll go to therapy, and we’ll do couples counseling. We’ll move away, and I’ll get another job. We can be happy again, I know we can.” I let him ramble on, saying all the things I might have eaten up and agreed to if I hadn’t been the one to catch him. Maybe if he had admitted his indiscretion himself before being caught. Had I not witnessed him and Natalie’s conversation I would not have found out, possibly ever.
“Do you have anything else to say?” I asked.
“Just that you are the love of my life, my soul mate, my everything,” he said, getting on his knees in front of me.
“Sit back down, please,” I said, and he did, leaning forward towards me. He looked like he was having a tough time dealing with our separation. He was thinner, his eyes sunken in as if he was sick.
“Greg, I believe in second chances, and so I can forgive you. But I cannot be your wife any longer because I don’t have it in me to continue to love you the same way. Not the way you’ve described. I no longer see you as the love of my life or my soul mate. I don’t feel like my arm or leg has been cut off. Maybe it was your cheating that caused me to turn those feelings off, or maybe they were hiding and only came to the surface with your actions. I don’t know. But I do know that my future happiness is not with you,” I said. I recognized the truth in every one of my words and experienced such a lightness that I wanted to run and tell Harvey about it.
“Is it with Harvey?” he asked, point blank. His nostrils flared.
“Why do you ask me that?” My heart hammered in my chest.
“Is it with Harvey?” he repeated. I did not understand how he could suspect a thing, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t have to answer to him anymore.
“Whatever I do now, Greg, is none of your business. I appreciate that you were worried about my family and me. As you can see, we are well and don’t need any help. I’ve heard you out, and I’ve told you why I no longer want us to be married. It’s time you were on your way.” I stood up and walked towards the side of the house to lead him to the driveway. He followed me, his hands in his pockets, his head down. I hoped he had finally accepted my decision. When we reached the front, I noticed that Harvey was leaning on his rental car. He saw us come out.
“Sorry, I’ll get out of your way,” he said, making toward the house. But Greg stopped him, a hand on Harvey’s chest.
“Where were you guys coming from just now?” Greg asked.
“Calm down, dude,” Harvey said, pushing Greg’s arms away.
“You calm down, dude. I asked you a question,” Greg said, now pushing Harvey, who hardly budged.
“Greg!” I yelled. Harvey moved forward and put his arm on Greg’s shoulder.
“Let’s let bygones be bygones, eh?” Harvey said, a smirk on his face.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Greg said pushing his arm away and getting in Harvey’s face.
