Hearing him talking about “our wedding” as if it was a foregone conclusion made my head spin, but in a good way. All the feel-good chemicals were flooding my brain at once.
“I would like you to meet her. Would you want to go out to the retirement community?” I asked.
Angie interjected. “You’re going to have to slum it sometimes. We’re used to living among the peasants.”
I hit her playfully on the arm.
“Okay, okay, I’m done,” she said with a laugh.
Colin smiled good-naturedly and winked at me. “I guess I could slum it for a weekend. What about this weekend?”
“Wow, that’s quick! Umm. Yes, sure. She’ll be thrilled, of course. I’ll call her tomorrow morning and tell her we’ll be there the next day. It’s a small bedroom we’ll be in. Queen-sized bed.” I was suddenly hesitant about all of this, and my body showed it. I was sweating, wishing I had another bra to change into.
He laughed. “I’ve slept in smaller beds. Don’t worry about me. Remember, I went to boarding school. I’ve also backpacked across Europe. I’m adaptable. I hope you don’t think I’m a snob.”
Angie spoke up again. “You know what? You don’t strike me as a snob. He’s a keeper, Kate.”
We laughed. I tried telling myself everything would be all right.
That night, as I lay next to Colin in his king-sized bed on the softest sheets imaginable, I questioned myself again. How would we merge our lives? Would I get used to helicopters and summer houses? It sounded so romantic and like winning the lottery, but something still made me uneasy.
Before I was able to voice my concerns, Colin was kissing me all over, and soon I forgot everything except the exquisite sensations he gave me for the next hour.
A couple of days later, I was sitting next to Colin in traffic on our way toward my mother’s retirement community by the beach, wondering why he hadn’t suggested we take the helicopter. Was he trying to prove something?
He looked serene as the breeze, which carried a hint of salt air, flowed through the open windows of Colin’s car.
“You’re not at all stressed by this, are you?” I asked.
He brought my hand to his lips. “I have you next to me all to myself. What else would I need?”
I was so incredibly grateful for him, but also insecure at the same time.
“Colin, does my not coming from money bother you at all? What does your family think?”
“My love, it does not bother me in the least. I doubt my parents care at all, seeing as Stephen married who he did. I’m not seeking their opinion, nor have they given it to me. I speak to my father only about the business. Most recently, about the case against Blake and Kirkman. Thank goodness that’s almost behind us. I haven’t spoken to my brothers since the wedding—my father took care of Landon. And my mother? She sends me messages from time to time when she remembers she has a son.”
I was trying to accept that my lack of money wasn’t important, but I was still so self-conscious about it. I tried to pay for dinner for Angie and me the other night, and then again yesterday at an indoor rock-climbing place, but he wouldn’t hear of it.
And how to reply to his description of his lack of communication with his family? Perhaps his brothers and father were lost causes, but I wasn’t convinced of his mother’s apathy.
“Did you respond to her?” I asked.
“Of course. It’d be rude not to. She seems to be doing well, though. If she’d had to adjust her medications, she’d have told me.”
“When I was leaving the house the day after the wedding, she said that she was always able to count on you to be there for her. It must not be easy as a kid to be sent away. And when you dosee your mother, she’s relying on you to be the one to take care of her.”
“She doesn’t need me to take care of her, Kate.”
“Maybe she’s looking to stay connected? Be involved in your life?” I suggested, hoping I wasn’t pushing him too far.
He was quiet, inching the car along and staring straight ahead with a steely gaze now.
“That’s not how we are. I’m not sure you can understand that. And it has nothing to do with money, or the lack thereof. I—sorry, I can’t talk about this right now.” His voice was firm but low, the way I’d heard him speak in the boardroom many times.
“Okay. I’ll let it go,” I said.For now.“I hope we can have a nice time here. Even if you’re not eating caviar or being waited on hand and foot.”
He flashed me a smile. We’re okay.
