“I guess I was.”
“You’re too modest. You’re still an artist, even if you’re not currently working on something. Why did you stop?”
I looked away, embarrassed. “I, um, I used to paint a lot as a teenager, and my dad really encouraged it. I continued after he passed, kind of as an homage to him. These were the last things I painted, but I had no idea they would be the last. Later, I started working at the company, and I had no time, I guess.”
“You can find the time,” he said, coming up close to me so that I had no choice but to look up at him. His eyes seemed to pierce my soul, and I believed him with every ounce of my being. It was as if what he said must be so.
If he says I can paint, then I can.
I wondered what I looked like to him, if my awe at his striking eyes showed in my face. I tried gathering my thoughts so that I might form a reply.
“It might be worth trying to start up again,” I said, looking away from him and grabbing my purse from the dining table.
We left soon after. It was still a mystery to me where we were going. I was expecting dinner and had planned on wearing heels and a dress, but that morning Colin had texted me to say I should wear shoes that were comfortable for walking.
I pulled out my flat, white sneakers last minute and paired them with a red-orange above the knee sundress. I had a light jacket with me for the inevitable chill that would descend uponthe evening. My outfit felt just as casual as his, with his own white sneakers and gray jeans.
When we pulled into the fairgrounds, I was confused. We joined the line of cars waiting for parking, and I looked over at him to see a massive grin on his face.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“What is this?” I looked around but didn’t see any sign anywhere of what event was being held.
“It’s a festival. Food trucks. Music. You don’t want to stay?” His expression shifted from childlike excitement to confusion.
“I do,” I said. “I’m just surprised. I wouldn’t have guessed you’d like this sort of thing.”
“Do you think I’m a snob?” he asked as he inched the car forward.
I shook my head. “Not at all. I just wasn’t sure… I suppose I don’t know much about you yet.”
“Well, then it will be my pleasure to show you,” he said, reaching for my hand. The warmth of his touch was so unexpected I actually gave a small audible gasp. His eyes were so optimistic and earnest, and I was so inexplicably drawn to him that when the attendant tapped on my window, I shrieked. His laugh as he drove in the direction of the attendant’s signaling soon had me laughing too.
When Colin got out of the car, I waited for him to come around and open my door, as I’d learned he liked to do. His hand reached in to help me out, and I ignored all the feminist ideas that screamed at me to say I was able to get out by myself. I held on to his hand and savored every millisecond. When he let go again, my hand was cold and lonely.
I considered previous relationships and couples I’d seen walking around holding hands. I hadn’t understood it before, but now I got it. If I were to hold Colin’s hand again, it would make the whole night worth it.
I was soon in for something even better. We walked through a crowded area at the front where throngs were waiting to get in. I went to search for his hand to make sure we didn’t get separated, but at the very moment it occurred to me, he stood behind me and put both of his hands on my waist.
My sides tingled with the warmth of his fingers grasping me. It’s hard to describe what happened within me at that moment, because I hardly knew myself.
I’d been intimate with previous partners. I’d desired men before.
But this.
This was different. The surrounding chatter faded to muffled noise, and every sensation was focused on those two spots where his hands were placed. If he were to move them higher…
He came closer until his body was against my back. It took every ounce of willpower not to lean back into him. His breathing was near my ear, and my insides were dancing wildly as my mind went to erotic places.
“We’ll be inside soon,” he said.
Then, “I’m so glad you accepted a second date with me.”
And then, “You look stunning tonight.”
I was melting. Soon I’d be a puddle he’d have to mop up off the floor.
We were at the front of the line by that time, and as we passed the turnstiles, the crowd opened and scattered. We walked toward the stage where a band played, and I noted the absence of his touch again.
