My body starts to feel weightless, a fog misting over my mind, until someone rests a hand on my forearm. I flinch so hard that all my muscles twinge. I lift my gaze to Odgar’s, forcing myself to breathe in steadily, forcing my pulse to settle. Odgar’s hand gently squeezes my arm, and I hang on to the sensation, to the focus etched into his rugged face.
“Stay with me,” he says.
I frown in confusion. Where does he expect me to go?
“Tell me what you’re afraid of.”
Myself.The word is on the tip of my tongue, but I clench my jaw to keep it from flying out. “Being imprisoned again,” I say instead.
He tucks his lips in for a moment before releasing them. “I won’t let that happen.”
I turn my face to the brightening horizon. The world around me feels hazy and intangible. My legs start to feel numb.
A large hand suddenly appears in my view. I startle again before seeking Odgar’s face. His lips are a straight line for a moment, though there’s a softness in his eyes that irritates and draws me in at the same time. The tightness in my chest is uncomfortable. I press my hand against it and somehow itstillsurprises me to find my amulet absent.
Odgar continues to offer his hand.
My eyes dart between his palm and his face as a soft smile curves his lips.
“What?” I snap.
His smile grows wider. “Dance with me.”
I stare at him as though he’s lost his mind. “There’s no music, Odgar.”
“Then we’ll make our own music.” His grin is so bloody contagious. I want to direct my anger toward him. It would be easier than confronting the warmth slowly spreading through me.
I roll my eyes at him. “Our own music,” I echo incredulously.
He takes my hand and steps back, tugging me so that I’m practically catapulted into his burly frame. His other hand splays across my back and the knot in my chest loosens slightly. Keeping me close, he begins to sway. He vocalizes an entrancing tune that summons gooseflesh to my skin and silences mycynicism. Awed, I sway along with him, soaking up the melody, lowering my head against the muscles just below his collarbone. The knot completely dissipates, the world around me feeling more substantial than it has in a while.
His vocalizations lure me like a merrow whose song I would gladly drown in if I could feel at peace like this forever.
My feet move naturally, in sync with his. We twirl and sashay across the swaying boat as though we’re alone in a grand ballroom. I’m reminded of that night when I thought my whole world would fall apart—when the weight of a decision rested heavily on my shoulders.
When he made things feel less daunting, and I already knew that I wanted him. At least for the betterment of Erleya, but also … maybe more.
Do I still want him?
My uncertainty diminishes the effects of Odgar’s soothing song. I tug away from him, flabbergasted by my own actions as my heart trips over itself. Odgar’s confusion reflects my own as his lips open, close, and open again.
“Did I offend you?” he asks at last.
“I—”
He reaches out to me, but I take a large step back, and he immediately holds his hands up.
Do I still want him? The question resurfaces in my mind. Somewhere deep within me, I know the answer, but I try to lock it away just as I lock away Enidwen.
Odgar is devastatingly handsome and gentle. He deserves a woman that doesn’t need him simply for political gain. One who would give him the same level of caring he so willingly shows.
One who isn’t broken.
Without another word, I turn and rush off, nearly running into Valdis as I make it to the narrow steps. Tears are wellingin my eyes, so I hurry past her and down below deck, shutting myself in the small cabin.
As if the space isn’t tiny enough, the walls seem to press in on me. The beginnings of embers heat in my palms. I squeeze my hands into fists, but the flames erupt nonetheless.
Enidwen’s voice rises from the shadows in my mind.Keep repressing and you’ll never be able to learn control.
