“How does it feel to bear the curse?”he asks after a while.
That question makes me face him. There’s an uncanny gentleness in his eyes as he leans in slightly, his lips parted with curiosity.
My throat constricts, making my voice sound hoarse as I respond. “Like I could lose my mind at any moment. Or lose control.” I blink through my tears.“I … can hear her voice. I canfeelher emotions at times. When I give in to my anger in particular, she sort of?—”
“Takes over?”
I nod. “So when the Seer said I’m chaos, it wasn’t just some casual statement..”
I expect fear or at least concern in his eyes, but instead there’s something that looks oddly like understanding. Like acceptance. Pensive, he folds his lips in while my tears flow unchecked down my cheeks. The cool air immediately dries them on my skin while the snow falls outside our little shelter.
Realization widens Odgar’s eyes. “Is this why you don’t want children?”
I nod somberly.
“While you may have this Enidwen living inside you, you’re still Carys,” he says.
Taking a deep breath, I finally tell him everything about the conversation with the Seer—about the cure for the curse and Serpent’s Hollow—Siad Nahar. “I feel less and less like myself,” I admit. “I need that cure.”
He sighs. “Alright.” Staring into the distance for a while, he seems to come to some sort of conclusion. He turns back to me and says with determination, “We’ll leave Uldarvik and find the Serpent’s Hollow. We’ll get you that cure. When the sun disappears, Valdis, Seth, Briony, and the crew will be here.”
“How—”
“We’ve talked about it. And the moment I saw what you could do to that man who attacked you, I told Valdis to gather everyone and meet us here. If we stay, you’ll have to go through a trial, and even though we’re betrothed, you’re an outsider here. I can’t risk that. I’d rather leave.”
“But this is yourhomeland! You can’t … We’ve not even been wed. You have no obligation to look after me.”
“Carys, I’d sail to the ends of the earth if it would bring you ease. I’d bury my axe in the heart of anyone who dares to lay a finger on you.” His hand clenches momentarily in his lap as he exhales loudly. “You need to get back to Erleya, and I happen to have a ship and a crew. I will be right by your side. Even if you hate me, even if you don’t trust me yet.”
Gods, there’s my heart cracking again. “I don’t hate you,” I say softly. Willpower is etched into his face, curls spilling from the braids over his shoulder. He looks …
“Are you alright?” he asks. He lifts his hand hesitantly before placing it on my cheek, his callused thumb stroking across my skin with such gentleness.
When we danced at the Feast, it felt so simple. The pressures from Iywan and the Council had ceased to exist. I remember the feeling of his hand against my exposed lower back. His playful—albeit cocky—comments. All at once, flutters fill my stomach—a feeling I can’t remember having.
At least, not in this way.
Part of me wants to reject the feelings—to shove them deep down, back to wherever they’ve been hiding. But the mixture of meekness and strength in Odgar’s eyes pierces my hardened heart.
My gaze drifts down to his full lips, and I find myself reaching out to him for once. My fingertips trace over the antler tattoo on his cheek, partially hidden by the soft hair of his beard. He places his hand over mine, and I lean in before I can lose my tenacity.
Salty tears mingle with the taste of something sweet as his lips move against mine. My eyes drift closed, his hand slips behind my head. The kiss is tender and bottomless, filling me with pleasant warmth. I’m breathless and dizzied by the sudden shift from perpetual agony to gratification.
Until something bright infiltrates my eyelids, drawing them open to light wavering through the hollow. Fear grabs ahold of me as I expect an ambush. But no …
The most vibrant purples and greens dance through the dark sky, billowing and oscillating. Stealing my breath. Odgar wraps his arm around my shoulders, a blanket against the frigid air. My cheeks ache before I realize I’m smiling at the incredible view.
“One of my favorite sights,” Odgar murmurs as I rest my head on his shoulder.
I hum in agreement, my eyes still on the beautiful choreography of the aurora.
It takes a moment before his words fully sink in. I lift my head, turning to look at him. “Oneof your favorite sights?” I ask. “What’s your favorite?”
His gaze meets mine, the lights reflecting in his eyes as his lips curve upward. “Your smile.”
Chapter 29
It’s my birthday today—butno one says a word about it. I stand as motionless as possible while the heavy-handed dressmaker pins a shimmery black material around my waist. Beneath it, I wear a thin summer chemise that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. It makes me wish that Lady Mari—orMum,as she insists I call her—wasn’t lounging in an armchair, mere paces from me.
