“I certainly do.” The skin is swollen and sore, but the ink is perfect.
“I can heal your skin before we head home if you’d like.”
“Please do.” I place my arm atop his, and his other hand floats above my skin. Healing light soothes the soreness from the bone needle. A sigh of relief leaves me.
Now I feel even more like a rebel.
Chapter 23
Tiernan has been takinga lot of time to train, even when we’re home. Perhaps I need to remindhimabout burnout, but I’m certain he’s keeping himself occupied so he doesn’t have to face whatever is running through his mind. He’s become more withdrawn, quieter. I feel like I’m losing a lot of the Tiernan I’ve come to know since and coming face-to-face with Major Kilkenny of Paramount again. It’s evident something is bothering him, but he won’t speak to me about it, and I fear that continuing to press him will only make him pull away more.
My shadows have been more willing to obey my commands, and I’ve been working on daywalking every day. Chiyo has volunteered a few times to be my subject to practice on, and that has been particularly helpful. I haven’t had many more sessions with Oksana, but I’ve continued to memorize the runes in the book and practice putting up sound and protective barriers, as well as taking them down. I also spar with other Mages to work on my offensive shadow wielding. I lose every spar, of course, but I try not to let my anxieties about it get the best of me.
With just a couple days left, I’ve chosen to take a break, to breathe and enjoy the last moments of normalcy before we leave the safety of the Verge.
I’m not sure how long I stand there, staring at Taig fast asleep. He’d dozed off while playing, and Chiyo had tucked him into her bed while she gave me a chance to meditate and pack for our mission. A newfound determination stirs inside me at the realization that Imustsurvive this journey in order to return to him. My stomach is all twisted up with the thought.
Chiyo places her hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my worries.
“Apologies.” I say. “I’ll take him now. Thanks for looking after him while I packed and such.”
“No thanks needed.” She smiles and drops her hand from my shoulder. “You … can leave him here a while longer if you aren’t going to bed yet. I’m not going anywhere. Just drying my hair.” The damp strands, freshly dyed blue from indigo plant paste, hang limply against her shoulders. “I wanted to freshen this up before we set off and it immediately turns fully silver. I can’t go looking haggardandlike an old woman, you know.”
I laugh softly. “Again, you donotlook like an old woman, even with the silver hair, Chiyo.”
She grins and shrugs before steering me out of the room. “Now go … do something relaxing for a while. We’ll be here.”
The door shuts before I can say anything. I make my way carefully down the stairs. I’ll miss this place. As I step into the sitting room, I expect to see Tiernan, but he isn’t there, nor is he in the kitchen or the bathing chamber.
I step out of the house in my lightweight summer dress and inhale sharply through my teeth when my bare feet touch the cold grass. Wrapping my arms around my torso, I brave thecold and hurry toward the backyard. A single magelight lamp illuminates very little, though it gives a clear view of Tiernan hurling daggers into a poor tree.
I barely register him turning, another throwing knife in hand, but I manage to fling up a shadow shield as the weapon flies toward me. My heart is in my throat as the blade bounces off my shield and drops to the ground.
In the magelight, Tiernan’s eyes blow wide. “Fuck!” he exclaims, running toward me.
I drop my arms and dismiss the shadows as Tiernan grabs my shoulders.
“Durvla!” With frantic movements, his hands run along the length of my arms. “You startled me. I’m so sorry.” After a moment, he steps back and bends to pick up the knife.
My hands are shaking even as I assure him I’m fine. “I’m the one who snuck up on you.”
His eyes remain wide, frantic. He still seems spooked. Disturbed, even.
“Let’s get inside, hmm?” I sign gently. “My feet are freezing.”
His gaze drops to my feet, and amusement overshadows the haunted look in his eyes as he sweeps me up into his arms. My hand flies up to cover the shriek of surprise that nearly escapes me. Brief laughter vibrates through his chest as he carries me toward the house. My feet hit the floor mat inside, and I hurry toward the hearth where I sit in front of the roaring fire.
I motion for Tiernan to join me. He closes the door before coming to sit beside me on the floor. I wave my hand a few times, calling a silencing ward. No shadows show, but it feels no different from casting a shadow wall.
Tiernan nods and says, “Clever. It doesn’t keep prying eyes from seeing us though.” He winks.
I try to smile, truly, but my lips don’t cooperate. “I want you to talk to me. You once told me that I should share my woes with you. Yet you’re shouldering all the burdens.”
He produces a smile that might have been believable to someone else, but after months of seeing him every single day, I know better. He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I’m just spooked by the thought of going back out there with so many after us. After you, especially.”
Of course, he’s shifted right back to me again, but I don’t argue.
“That’s all.” Something in his gaze has me thinking he knows he hasn’t convinced me, but he continues. “Once we’re out there,” he signs. “I want you always by my side. Riding with me. Sleeping with?—”
