I’m certain Chiyo echoes the words, but Ava doesn’t explain. She holds the map out to me. “Keep this,” she says. “Study it. Let’s aim to leave in one week. Get all the information you can find. And get your ass in better shape.”
“Thank you,” I say. She sits down behind the desk and makes a shooing motion with her hands.
As soon as we step out of the office, Chiyo dissolves into a fit of giggles. “For what it’s worth, you have a great ass,” she says.
I press my hand over my mouth to cover my laughter as we put some distance between us and the office.
“Looks like we have a quest,” Chiyo says. “Andyou’rethe key player.”
She drapes one arm around my shoulders and squeezes. For a petite young woman,godsis she strong.
Key player. One week. There’s a lot of work to be done.
Chapter 20
A loudbamstartles me out of my thoughts. Since that vivid illusion of the tree, I’ve been unable to focus on much. Gruffud is sitting on the armchair across from me, simmering, his hand resting on the tea table he’d no doubt just slammed his palm against.
“For the gods’ sake, woman. Get your damn head out of the clouds.”
“Apologies.” My voice comes out breathless and my heart is racing. I try to suppress the thoughts of that bizarre dream I had of the two women, but my mind keeps wandering to it.
“I must get to that meeting.”
What meeting?
Gruffud sets his teacup down on the table and stands, stepping toward me. I turn my face up to him, and he drops a kiss onto my forehead. His fingers slide through my hair, tugging slightly. “Why don’t you have curls like your sister and mother?” he asks.
My brows scrunch. That’s a new one. I’m used to criticisms about my body, not my hair. “My father’s hair is on the straighter side, I suppose?” Am I really explaining my appearance to this man?
His gaze drops down to the full swell of my breasts, his knuckles following, grazing over my cleavage. My shudder is not so subtle. He pulls his hand away and clenches his jaw, as if cutting off the flow of a nasty comment.
The more time that passes, the faster my tolerance for Gruffud dwindles. The stubble that once gave him an attractive, rugged look now clashes with his otherwise polished appearance. His voice is too harsh, his speech often gallingly like an encyclopedia. He’s stopped opening doors for me, pulling out chairs. Courtesy was the only affable trait he had, and even that is gone.
He straightens to walk to the door as Sage rushes to fetch his cloak from the coat rack. “No need to wait for me tonight,” Gruffud tosses over his shoulder.
I nod foolishly, unsure of what to say. Long after he leaves, I remain sitting there, staring at my own teacup until Sage takes it away. The sound of the clinking porcelain grows more distant, and I’m left alone with my thoughts overwhelming the silence.
I hate it here. With all my heart, I hate it. Even more than I’d hated residing with my own family.
Sage rushes past me again, this time heading to the door. My brows lift as she yanks the door open, and Neris steps in. I hadn’t even heard a knock.
Neris looks me up and down, her curly ponytail bouncing. “Realms, Winnie, you look—” She tilts her head. “Like you need some fresh air.”
I nod and get to my feet. It isn’t a bad idea. Without another word, we head through the kitchen and out into the cool air. I’m a tangle of nerves and negativity—in desperate need of literal grounding. I kneel to remove my shoes and my stockings, unhooking them from the garters beneath my dress. Standing with my bare feet in the grass, the soil underneath brings my body to the most comforting stillness.
I close my eyes and breathe in the crisp air, reveling in thelifebeneath my feet. I can feel animals burrowing under the surface, minerals and precious stones thrumming with their own heartbeat. I can feel strength, power, and possibility.
But the earth feels bruised. The plants cry out for help, struggling to grow against a strange force that seems to be sapping energy from the land. I’ve been feeling it for a while, as sure as I feel whatever force still lies within me, sapping me with equal fervor.
I crouch and press my hands against the grass, whispering to it in my mind.I hear you.I’m sorry.It feels like a slow-moving poison. A shattering.
Like a cleaved soul.
Does the earth have a soul?
“What does it feel like?” Neris’s whisper startles me.
My eyes blink open to the curiosity marking her face. “It feels like freedom. But also, the blight … it doesn’t seem like it’ll end soon”
