As we resume walking, conversations pick up around us again as if nothing unusual had occurred.
“Carys,” Valdis begins again, quietly. “I’m no Seer—I don’t know what fills your nightmares. But … you’re safe with us.”
For someone with embers residing in her body, I am unbearably cold. I cannot stop shivering as we make our way up the snowy mountain path, lined with thick undergrowth and deep green ferns that seem to thrive within the frosty terrain. Odgar is an unyielding wall beside me, his arm brushing my shoulder as we walk.
“Snow or rain?” his voice rumbles.
I glance up at him. “Pardon?”
His eyes brighten as he smiles. “Do you prefer snow or rain?”
“Oh …” I think about it. “There isn’t much snow in Erleya, but … maybe snow. At least it doesn’t drench me like rain.”
“You have yet to see an Uldaran blizzard; it may change your mind.”
I feel my face crumple, my expression causing Odgar to chuckle.
We walk in silence a while longer before he speaks up again, “Kisses or caresses?”
My eyes dart back up to him, but he’s staring straight ahead, the corner of his lips tilted upward. It’s so much like Callum’s playful smirk in the stolen moments of privacy. His touch, his last words—the fatal declaration of his love—the lake of red pooling beneath his body. Enidwen stirs within me, that jarring combination of icy and blistering swirling around the recesses of my mind. The sensation floats toward the forefront of my awareness, bright yellow eyes glaring through my own.
“Carys?” Odgar asks.
“Neither,” I breathe out. I look away in fear that my eyes will reflect what I see and feel internally. I inhale deeply, pushing back the enchantress like Briony has taught me. The bizarre hot and cold melts away.
Touch sets me off with ease lately; I’m not sure I could kiss another person—at least while sober—as long as the image of Callum’s lifeless eyes is seared into my memory.
Odgar’s voice sounds tentative when he speaks again. “Embraces or words of comfort?”
Do not show weakness, the enchantress whispers, her voice far away as if carried by wind.
I shiver as crisp mountain air carrying the aroma of fresh pine fills my nose. As I fight away the tears that sting my eyes. “Neither.”
Odgar looks down at me, puzzled. He seems to be taking me in, like he’s trying to figure out what the appropriate response should be. “You needsomething.”
Heat pulses behind my breastbone.No weakness!Enidwen’s voice booms.
I flinch hard enough that Odgar’s brows quirk up. “I need a fucking break,” I mumble. Toherand to Odgar. I walk ahead of him, falling into step beside Valdis, who eyes me questioningly. But the woman, gods bless her, turns back to Seth and continues whatever conversation they’d been having before.
On the third day, a thunderous cheer fills the air. My lungs are still adjusting to the high altitude, but my breathing is slowly improving. King Freyr announced our arrival not long ago, just as the sun began its steady trek westward. By the time red and orange streak angrily across the dark blue sky, there’s revelry all around.
Drinking songs resonate along with laughter and storytelling with incoherently slurred Uldaran. The boom of drums echoes in my ears, thudding in my chest as the waver of torches casts shadows through the trees and dense shrubbery. I remain with my little circle—with Valdis, Seth, Odgar, and Briony. As usual, Briony is quiet, but the others fill us in, describing the festivities.
A scraggly man with furs falling off his shoulders walks by, balancing several overflowing mugs. Valdis reaches back and plucks one from him, lifting it in a silent cheer before taking a sip and passing the mug to Seth. I look at her curiously.
“It’s a mixture of henbane and mead,” she says. “I’d keep away unless you want to wake up in the morning with a cockinside of you. Or a woman’s breasts in your hands. Whichever you prefer.” She winks at me while Seth offers me an apologetic look.
I shrug. “Either.”
Odgar does a doubletake and lets out a short burst of laughter.
My back straightens and a scowl leaps onto my face. “What?”
“Nothing, nothing,” says Odgar. “Just … Likewise.” He bites off a chunk of dry meat, smirking around the mouthful and I lower my defenses, unable to resist smiling back.
Valdis whisks the cup from Seth and holds it up as if making a silent toast to us before taking another sip.
For a moment, I regard her, heaviness crushing my chest. I swallow thickly and clear my throat. “You remind me of a friend,” I say quietly. Over the merriment around us, I’m not sure if she hears me. But she passes the mug back to Seth, her forehead furrowed.
