No, it’s definitely not my body.
I stare at Carys, trying to see past the perfect image of Erleya’s princess being projected. Momentarily, I’m met with a flushed face, hair different than I remember it, and eyes almost glowing gold. I jump, startled, and the image of Carys as I know her replaces what I just saw.
“I think … your body isn’t doing so well,” I admit. My muscles feel weak, my knees barely able to keep my weight up, even in this dreamscape. “Perhaps, neither is mine, actually.” Slowly, I sit on the deck of the ship, and Carys joins me. Except she collapses onto her back, her hair spreading out around her like bedcovers.
Gingerly, I lay beside her. There are sounds around me that I cannot quite make out. Whether it’s the sound of the waves or the sound of the sails—I’m not sure I’ve ever heard them before with my physical ears.
For some time, I’m lost in it, until Carys speaks. “Did you bring me here?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t remember anything.”
“Hmm,” she murmurs thoughtfully.
“Doyouremember anything?”
She blinks, her brows knitting together. “I think I’ve burned myself out. Too much power usage. Do you think I’m dead? Areyoudead?”
A memory resurfaces, filled with darkness, but Tiernan’s face takes the foreground. I lurch upright, and Carys sits up right after.
“Durvla?” Her eyes widen with panic, shifting from that bright gold to the ochre I know. “Durvla,” she demands.
“I’m thinking …” Yet everything feels so odd and floaty. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been so exhausted—especially in a dream.
“Durvla. Should you be dreamwalking right now? You should conserve your energy.”
Grief hits me, everything flooding back to my mind all at once. I hold back the tears that threaten. If Carys isn’t doing well, then I shouldn’t burden her. Maybe I’m here by some divine intervention. To save her since I couldn’t save Tiernan. “Carys, I need you to promise me something.”
“Alright.”
“If anything happens to me, find the others at Siad Nahar. Don’t let the Zenith or the Purists take over. We have to stop them somehow.”
“Durvla, you’re going to be fine. But you really need to stop using your powers. Please wake up.” There’s a desperate edge to her voice.
I smile. “Only if you wake up first.” I reach out and grip her shoulder, and the dream falls away.
I blink as a face materializes above me. Grey eyes peer into mine. Then another face hovers. Blue hair. Her lips move, but I don’t make out anything she says.
The tears come hot and fast, blinding pain that isn’t physical hitting me. “We have to get Ti—” I’m unable to finish my sentence before I’m consumed by unconsciousness again.
Chapter 68
All my lifeI’ve repressed so much. My enthusiasm for life, my free-spirited nature, my joy for things like sweet baked goods and theperfectmix of colors on canvas. I’ve been told who I was supposed to be, married off to someone I hated and who considered me spoiled goods.
For over a year now, I’ve pushed away the call to flee from my home. The call to a land that I was more willing to believe was a myth than to face the scary unknown of it.
But even with my heart pounding relentlessly and my body on edge as if I’m about to dive off a cliff, I give in to the Call.
I stand behind Murtagh’s safehouse, my back against the brick wall, my bare feet in the dirt, eyes closed, and senses open to the land around me. I allow visions of the tree, of beautiful fields of flowers and misty waters to flood my mind. It fills my body with a strange certainty of just where to go.
Perhaps someday soon I can come back to Paramount—to find Father. Perhaps someday I’ll be able to face my sister and mother again. But for now … For now I need to get everyone to this sacred land.
The goddesses have gone quiet in my mind, but coming to terms with the truth of my existence is hard to accept. It’sdifficult to know that I’d truly been dead before a dark Sorceress who deemed herself a Healer had brought me back to life. I’m not sure exactly what that means for my future; I’m not sure if I’m living on borrowed time because Radika robbed Lugda of a soul.
What I’m certain of is that it’s time for me to stop living half a life. It’s time for me to lay down my complacency and faintheartedness.
Time for me to take charge of my life and to embrace who I am without shame.
Chapter 69
