I have not forgotten you, Terraforger. And I suggest that you never forget me. I am Fury, and even after my end, I will always remain in the hearts of you fickle mortals.
I frantically search the dark, but I don’t need to see the glowing red eyes to know who speaks to me. But why is she always so bloody cryptic?
Do not ignore the Calling any longer.Caiolair’s reign will soon be upon us.
I feel the heat of the goddess and, briefly, I see a blazing axe rising in front of me and slashing through the air.
With a shriek, I cover my head, prepared to be smote.
“Winnie!” Neris exclaims, grabbing my arm in the darkness.
My pulse races, outrunning my thoughts, and it takes me a moment to reel in my panic. When I finally do, all I say is, “I’m fine.”
The Purists were wrong about many things, but the gods certainly are at work in some capacity. Unfortunately, so is the Zenith—and it’s worse than I could’ve imagined. My father … Will Mother ever learn the truth of him? Would Arionna? What has become of them? Of the Pendrys? Why do I even care?
Unable to get back to sleep with so many thoughts churning in my mind, I head into the common room as soon as Neris drifts off again. I sit near the fire and close my eyes, enjoying the warmth.
Soft footsteps enter the room, and I jump, but it’s only Murtagh. The older man smiles warmly at me.
“Sorry to startle you, lass.” His voice is gentle as he crouches so that he’s level with me.
“It’s alright. I couldn’t sleep. I … just don’t understand a lot of this.”
“I’m not sure any of us understands. Not fully at least.” He rises to sit on the stony platform in front of the hearth, leaving some space between us. “I believe you ken that I was good friends with your da.”
I nod.
“He sent word shortly after the incident at the castle, speaking of great atrocities occurring within the walls. He feared for his life.”
I keep my mouth shut.
“I dinna ken what happened after, but I ken that while he served the queen, toward the end of her reign, we agreed that the rebels aren’t to be feared. In fact, the rebels are the hope of Erleya—they might be a quiet force, but they fight against tyranny and corruption. Against the Purists and the Zenith, thedarkness that threatens to destroy our kingdom. Through wee acts. But even the littlest acts matter.” He stares into the fire wistfully. “We do what we have to do to survive, and to help those without the means to survive on their own.”
Also gazing into the fire, I ask, “Do you think the gods are real?” I turn my head back to Murtagh as a smile slowly spreads across his face.
“Oh, yes. I believe that they choose some of us to carry out tasks we would otherwise not have the courage to carry out on our own.”
My ribs constrict my heart. I think of my visions of Fury and of Winter. Damarlach and Magdin. Their confrontation within my head about the oppressors and the destruction of the gods. Even now I’m unsure of what to believe. “But not all the gods are on the right side,” I say.
“Aye. That’s why we have our own conscience and free will, young Gwyneth.” He stands stiffly from the small platform and straightens his nightshirt. “I hope one day you will be reunited with Eurig.”
My heart pangs.
“He’s always been proud of you. His artistic daughter with a heart of gold and fists of steel.”
I laugh through the tears gathering on my lower lashes. “He said that?”
Murtagh laughs. “I ken you’ve had a lot of people telling you who they think you are or who you should be, but don’t forget that you ken yourself better than anyone else.” It reminds me of Tiernan’s words back in the brig. Murtagh turns and makes for the doorway, pausing before he leaves. “Try to get some sleep. Even warriors need rest.”
A heart of gold and fists of steel. I chuckle and shake my head again before sighing. I do hope to see him again someday, but if I never do, I’ll try my best to make him proud.
Chapter 66
Beingon the ocean feels never-ending. My moods waver from good to bad to worse. Happy to ecstatic to angry with the world. Some days I want to dive off the ship and swim to some other land, and other days I just want to be home in Erleya again. I’m frightened by the unknown of what awaits me.
Just as I’m frightened by what is right in front of me. Odgar and I don’t sleep together again. We don’t even kiss. To prevent winding up in bed with him again, I avoid being with him alone. I’m just not ready to give my heart away to someone when I barely know how to love myself.
And sadly, I’m not sure if or when that will ever change.
