It takes all my courage to turn to Odgar, to face his glistening eyes and pained expression. I swallow and feel the trickle of tears on my face.
Water laps against the side of the boat, the soft whoosh of the waves keeping me calm. It’s a while before Odgar says, “You are so much stronger than you realize.”
I let out a shaky breath.
“I’m glad that you made it to Uldarvik.”
“Me too,” I say tearfully.
He wraps an arm around my shoulder, tugging me close. I feel tons lighter, though I know it won’t last. After a while, the wind has me trembling even under Odgar’s warm embrace and his heavy cloak.
Odgar leans away and lifts the oars again. “Let’s get you warmed up,” he says. He rows us back to the main ship in silence. I look at my hands, surprised that so much power can willingly be Wielded, but at least this time, no one was hurt.
When we’re almost back at the ship, I glance at Odgar again. “Thank you,” I say.
He smiles at me, and my stomach somersaults. “Any time.”
Chapter 59
As I changeinto my nightgown and comb out my hair, I no longer feel the pulse of my powers demanding my attention. There’s no sense of overheating, no itch, yet I’m bereft and unsettled. Diminished. So annoyingly lonely. How often had I confined myself to my bedchamber back in Paramount and allowed myself to simmer in my despair? Those were the moments when the cauldron of emotion soup boiled over and consumed me. When I lost control of my actions.
Not tonight. Tonight, I want to maintain control. I’m not ready to face those darker parts of me again.
I hurry out of my cabin and down through the tight corridor to Odgar’s door. Quietly, I rap three times, and only a heartbeat later, it opens, revealing Odgar’s perplexed face.
“Are you al?—?”
Not giving him a chance to finish his sentence, I throw myself at him. He starts to protest, but then his lips soften against mine and his muscles relax. I press my hands against his tattooed chest, pushing him into his cabin and nudging the door closed with my heel. Odgar’s hands slide into my hair as his tongue glides against mine.
The kiss is heady, fervent. Too many sensations and emotions fill me at once. All impossible to pry apart. As Odgar’s mouth explores my neck, he drags me against his hard body. Damp heat gathers low in my belly, between my thighs, as I reach down to fumble with the laces of his trousers before palming his growing cock through the fabric.
His intake of breath against my skin makes me grin.
“Carys,” he whispers. “Are?—”
I slip my hand into his trousers and wrap my fingers around his thick length. He groans my name and the sound thrums through me.
“Are you sure you want to?—”
My gaze is fixated on the arousal dominating his features as I stroke and he fails to finish his sentence again, his eyelids heavy, his breaths uneven.
Satisfaction curves my lips as my hand moves steadily.
“Carys …” He stills my hand with his. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Ifyoudon’t want this then?—”
“I’ve wanted this—I’ve wantedyou—for far longer than I should admit,” he says breathlessly. “But you’ve had a rough night, and I don’t want to take advantage of that.”
I’ve had many rough days and nights. It’s been nothing but a dark cloud of constant misery. I want to feel something else. I want to feel powerful in a way that has nothing to do with the flames I’ve inherited.
“Ineedthis.” Desperation laces my words. I needhim. “Don’t make me beg.”
His large hand cups my face, his thumb lightly tracing my lips. “You never have to beg me for anything,minehkelsska.”
I nip at his thumb, and he pulls his hand away, surprised. “Then take your trousers off and get on the bed,” I say.
A spark of something lights up his face. Admiration? Amusement? The corner of his lips twitch, his eyes crinkling. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
