“I may be a Basduun, but I know what’s right and what’s wrong. And so do you. I don’t understand why you’re being stubborn right now when I know you want to get out of the situation you’re in!”
“I am doing the best I can to make the right choices! I’m tired of people telling me how I’m supposed to live!”
“Winnie, listen to me, please. I’m not trying to tell you how you’re supposed to live. I’m trying to tell you that you are needed for something bigger than all of us. I know it feels unfair. I know it’s terrifying. But we need you. And we need Tiernan.” My eyes well, my voice breaks. “I need him.”
Winnie snatches another rose and crumbles it. The thorns tear at her skin, and blood begins to leak from her hands. “I suspect you can’t keep me here forever. If you don’t release me now, then once your energy is spent, I will tell the sovereign we haven’t caught the real Shadow Wielder. I’ll expose you.”
My pulse quickens. “Winnie?—”
“Your secret is safe with me if you let me go.”
As much as I want to hold her here until she agrees to follow her calling to Siad Nahar, I can tell she isn’t bluffing. “Alright. I’ll release you.”
“Then you have my word that I will keep my mouth shut.”
I nod. She drops the flowers to the ground and meets my eyes, tears in hers. “I am sorry. But I’m no hero. I just want to get my friend out of here. It’s too risky to travel across Erleya for some place that may or may not truly exist.”
I don’t dignify her words with a response. I simply release my hold on the dreamscape and let it crumble.
When I fall back into myself, my own hands sting as though I was the one crushing roses, and a hammer pounds against the back of my head. My body breaks into uncontrollable shivers as I slip the stone back into my pocket and curl in on myself.I lie there, my eyes clenched shut, my body revolting. Until the shivers subside, until I can breathe evenly again.
If we don’t have Winnie, we’re going to have to find another way to get to Siad Nahar. One way or another.
But at least I know one thing: Tiernan is alive. For now.
Chapter 51
Isobel’s fistslams so hard into my forearm as I block, I’m certain she bruises my bone. I bite back a cry of pain and step back, clutching my throbbing arm to my chest.
“I’m sorry!” she exclaims. The trees around us waver in the breeze. “That was a perfect block, but ducking would’ve been better.” She smiles, her nose scrunching up in a way that would’ve been endearing if annoyance didn’t have me in such a tight grip.
I’m not fast enough, not strong enough. My headaches persist even through the tinctures, and I’m tired of Alys having to heal me. On top of it all, I’ve trained nearly every day, yet I don’t seem to be getting much stronger.
“Bugger, did I hurt you that badly?” Isobel asks, a shadow falling across her face as the sun momentarily disappears behind dense clouds. “Here, let me see.” She reaches out, but I step back.
“I’m fine.”
Her sibling steps closer and says something to her. She nods and steps aside as Sloan faces me. Sloan holds up their right hand, splaying all five fingers, then the other arm that stops atthe elbow, the sleeve rolled back from the smooth stump. “What do you see?” Sloan asks.
I fumble to find words, my eyes roam the wild grass, the mountain peaks all around, the dimming and brightening sky. Forcing my focus on Sloan’s face again, I find them seemingly apathetic, but there’s something oddly comforting about it.
“Don’t think about hurting my feelings, just answer the question,” they say.
I brace myself to see hurt on their face. “A missing limb,” I say.
Sloan nods. “Right. When I started fighting, that’s all I could see as well. That’s allanyonecould see.” Sloan pulls their sword from its scabbard with such swiftness that I flinch and step back. “So, I trained harder and harder. I pushed myself, and I strove to be no different, to look no different.” They step back, putting enough space between us and waving Ava toward them.
Ava steps forward, grabbing her own sword from her waist. I watch as Sloan and Ava strike and parry in a rapid series of exchanges that makes me hold my breath. They stop when Ava’s sword is at Sloan’s neck, then she sheaths her blade again. Sloan returns to me, mopping their forehead with a sleeve. “Watching me fight just now, did my missing arm make a reappearance?”
I hesitate. “No.”
“Was I equally matched against Ava, even with only one hand?”
I nod.
Sloan tilts their head at me, face stony, but something like intrigue shines in their blue-grey eyes. “Were we trulyequallymatched?”
My eyes dart to Ava and then back to Sloan. “Well … Ava … strikes sharper and more precisely. But you strike faster and block more readily.”
