At last, she picks one up and flips through the pages. Her eyes drink in a passage and she giggles. “Let’s see …” I watch her eyes roam over the page, her finger tracing the lines. Then she reads aloud in a theatrical tone, “Lust burned in Eideard’s loins?—”
“Realms …”
“—as he feasted his eyes upon Finella’s ample bosom.” She glances up at me with a smirk. “Oh look, Winnie, she’s like you. Or how did you say Lady Mari put it?”
I make a face and groan. “Neris, by the realms, it really is time to grow up. We’re not children anymore.”
The smile is wiped off her face instantly. She doesn’t drop the book, but she snaps it shut and carefully steps her way backthrough the sea of objects. Her eyes hold no amusement. “I think you need to growdown, Winnie. You’ve forgotten how to have fun.”
Heat floods my head. “Well pardon me. Getting married off to an abusive prick and watching my friend be nearly killed because of it took the fun out of life. As did being arrested and forced into the service of a dodgy organization.”
Neris stops moving, staring down at the book in her hands. To my embarrassment, my tears break loose when she looks at me again. I scrub the tears away and confront the mixture of resistance and sympathy on Neris’s face.
“Life isn’t fair,” she says steadily. “In fact, it fuckingstinks. My father abandoned my mother when I was a wee babe, and my mother is forever gone from my life. I don’t want to lose my best friend too. So …” She grabs my hand and slaps the book into my palm. I grip it in both hands before it can fall. “I’d love it if you could do me a huge favor and find my best friend. My chosen sister.” Her voice catches and it breaks my heart.
The last time I saw Neris truly cry was after her mother died. When her emerald eyes brim and overflow now, she doesn’t bother to wipe them away. She doesn’t hide her emotions but rather embraces them as if they give her strength.
“Listen,” she continues. “I don’t know what the fates, or the stones, or the gods—orwhoever—has in store for you. But it’s up toyouwhat steps you take. There’s no one forcing you to make the wrong decisions. Every time you had the opportunity to change your life, you made an excuse not to. You never take matters into your own hands because you’re afraid to stir the pot. And that’s what’s holding you back.”
I can only stare at her. No words come to mind. No thoughts even. I just stand there, in the princess’s room, staring at Neris with tears slowly trickling down my face.
Neris releases a breath and wraps her arms around me, hugging me far too tightly, the book trapped between us. Yet my shoulders relax for the first time in days, and that overwhelming buzzing under my skin settles. She continues to hug me, and it does nothing to stop the flow of my tears. “It’s time you lived, Winnie. I know you’re looking for your father, but …” She gives a watery smile and shakes her head.
“I know,” I say, my voice thick with choked back tears.
“We’ll figure it out. But in the meantime, I want to know what happened with Finella and Eideard.”
“What …?”
She casts a pointed glance down to the book in my hands, a smirk on her face despite her still-glistening eyes.
“You’re ridiculous,” I say, thrusting the book at her. It opens slightly as she grapples for it, and a piece of folded parchment falls from between the pages and flitters a small distance away.
“What’s that?” Neris asks.
I step over a few hair accessories and makeup brushes, retrieving the paper from the floor. Beautiful penmanship fills the page, the ink smudged here and there, the paper wavy and deformed as though it had been previously wet.
Born of the moon and hewn from the stars,
You are shrouded in starlight, in shadows and dreams,
The darkness within you is yours to command
You will long for solace, but fear holds your hand
Born of the sun and cursed by the fates,
You are gilded in sunlight and forged from the flames,
The darkness within you you’re certain to blame,
You’ll long for life’s pleasures but sorrow’s lain claim
United in shadows, in a blaze of reveries
You will thwart the hand of Chaos
In the depths of memories
