I lick my lips, feeling it split again. My mouth is horribly dry. “Reneris Carlile.” The scratch of the assistant’s pen follows.
“—Reneris Carlile is exempt from penalty,” Rheon finishes. “You and Reneris will remain here at Paramount Castle until we can ensure your safety outside of these walls.”
My legs go weak with relief. With a few more scratches of Jac’s quill, he finishes drafting the agreement. The masked woman tugs me over to the desk by my manacle chains. Awkwardly, I take the quill the man offers me, chains clanging and shackles digging into the metal around my wrists. The quill hovers above the space where my signature will seal our fates.
I’m not the naive girl I used to be. I’ve already signed my soul away once before—for the chance at a cure, for normalcy—but in this instance, I’m hoping to buy myself some time to figure things out.
Perhaps I can find Father. Then I can get both him and Neris out of the castle. Hells, perhapshecould get us out of the castle. The quill feels heavy between my fingers. All I need to do is sign—an action that seems so harmless but holds so much power.
I look to the sovereign. “What exactly is expected of me if I join the Zenith?”
An odd smile stretches across his face. “We have a special mission for you. To find and bring more Wielders to safety.”
I don’t want to believe him. Not when I’ve seen the Erleya he’s already created. I’ve seen the Peacekeepers at work, butcould it be that he isn’t aware of their doings? The Forayers have been known to go rogue.
Someone clears their throat—Jac—and I apologize quickly before taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling. Then, with my heart in my throat, I sign my soul away for the second time in my life.
Except this time, it’s with the intention to get away.
Huddled in a corner, I wrap my arms around myself and rock back and forth as the memories infiltrate again and again. I’ve already joined a fanatic group out of desperation before; what makes the Zenith different?
Pulling myself together proves to be impossible as I sob into my knees until the muscles in my stomach are sore. This time, there’s no Neris to comfort me. This time, I’m in the most luxurious place in all of Erleya, with two people who I love within the walls. Neris and Father.
Myfatheris here.
With that sobering thought, I pluck my watch from my pocket and slide my thumb over the smooth surface.
I will find you, I think as I give the watch a little squeeze for luck and tuck it back into my pocket. I pick myself up from the floor and take a few calming breaths. There’s plush carpet beneath my bare feet, sandstone-colored wall, and the floor is tiled with copper and blue. The bed is enormous, with delicate fabric draping across the posts. I head to the bathing chamber to splash tepid water on my face and hopefully stop myself from descending further into despair. I need to see Neris.
And I have to find Father.
Chapter 38
I stareout across the vast ocean beneath an intermittently cloudy sky for what feels like the thousandth time. A few paces from me, Seth and Valdis are lip-locked, practically devouring each other. I could leave, I could go below deck, but I’d rather not be alone with my own thoughts. Or worse, with a devastatingly attractive warrior prince.
Valdis’s giggle is cut off by a small gasp. I swivel my head toward them as Seth drags his lips down her neck.
“By the gods, you two!” I exclaim.
Valdis turns to me, her eyes bright with amusement, a grin on her lips. Seth drops one last kiss onto her collarbone before slinging both arms around her waist and smiling at me. “Apologies, we’ll behave,” he says with a chuckle.
“Thank you.”
But when I turn back to the ocean, Valdis giggles again.
I swear colorfully, but I don’t even look at them this time. “You have a cabin below deck, don’t you? I’d suggest going there.”
“Sounds like you should take your own suggestion,” Valdis says, and my gaze flicks to her as she winks at me. “Maybe you’llbe less cranky if you … release some of that tension. Alone or otherwise. No judgment.”
“Val, leave her alone,” Seth says, lacing their fingers as I glower at her. “Come on.” He tugs her away.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Valdis and Seth, it’s that six years of marriage have done nothing to diminish their love for each other. They seem as passionate as forbidden lovers, as insatiable as newlyweds. It’s not only their annoying public displays of affection, but the subtle, tender glances between them. Whether in the heat of battle or the banality of supper. They love each other with unwavering devotion and uncanny force.
It takes me a while to decipher the unpleasant heat that builds inside me each time I’m in the vicinity of their suffocating hunger for each other. But it’s startlingly clear today.
It’sjealousy. Ugly, unjustified jealousy.
“Gods, this journey is never-ending,” I groan aloud, even though it’s only been two weeks on the ocean.
