“You’re mean,” I groan.
“I’m mean?” He scoffs. “I’m getting blue balls as we speak.”
“Who is Janet?”
“No one important.” He reaches for the remote to his side.
“She was apparently important enough to make you do heroin.”
“Convince me to do it. No one made me do it.”
“What was so special about her?”
“I was young and stupid.” He shrugs. “I thought love could heal my wounds, and she was around. Not that she cared to know anything about them. She said she didn’t want to hear about my pain, because hers was enough. So instead, she said we should forget about our troubles and get as high as we could.But eventually we always came back down. Then I was offered a chance at something, and a really good friend was depending on me not to fuck it up.”
“Wes?”
“Yes.” He nods.
“But you never told him you were abused?”
“No. I told you, only you know. And I keep waiting for you to use it against me.”
“I’m not that cruel.”
“My cock begs to differ.”
I climb off the table, crawling into his lap.
“I can make it up to him.”
His hands grip my hips, rocking me against his body. The rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against my clit makes me gasp.
“God. I want that so bad,” he groans as I roll over his hard cock. “But I’m not falling for it.” He pushes me off him, and I land softly on the couch beside him.
I get up, resting on my knees. “It was worth a try.” I smile.
“You really want to go that bad?” He glances over at me.
“I don’t like being kept prisoner. I didn’t leave one controlling guy for another.”
He puts his hand to his mouth and lets out a scream into his palm. The sight is unsettling. His hand drops from his mouth, and he pulls his hair as tears roll down his cheeks.
“Ben,” I whisper, crawling back into his lap. “Hey. Ben. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it.”
He pushes his hands into his eyes, groaning as his body shakes underneath me.
“Babe,” I say softly, testing the waters. He has called me baby countless times and I’m hoping if I call him something sweet, he will snap out of whatever mental breakdown he is having. I pushed him way past his breaking point. I know this is my fault,and while I did want to push him away, seeing him like this makes my heart hurt in a way I didn’t expect. “Babe?” I repeat.
He takes a deep breath as his arms drop to his side, his eyes looking into mine.
“I’m sorry,” I say again.
“No. I’m sorry.”
“For? I’m the one being a bitch.”
“I don’t like that word anymore,” he says, pressing his face into my neck. “If anyone, even you, calls you a bitch again, I’m kicking their ass.” His lips plant kisses along my jaw. “I can never make it up to you, can I? I screwed it up from the first night.” His mouth travels up my chin, until his lips rest, barely touching mine. “You can go. I won’t keep you but fuck, I don’t want you to leave me right now.”
