“What happens when I do?”
“Huh?”
“When I’m someone new, what happens? Will you stop bothering me? Finally leave me alone?”
“If that’s what you want, sure. Or we can stay friends.” I shrug.
I don’t like her asking that question. I don’t want to think that far ahead. The idea of not being around her feelswrong. It’s only been a week of having her in my life. Not even a full week at that, but she has managed to make a mark on my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her now.
It’s stupid really. Insane. I shouldn’t feel like this after only a few days. Shouldn’t be spilling all my secrets, making scenes or getting my ass kicked for her, but here we are.
I’m in way too deep and liking it too much.
“You’d still be my friend? Even after everything I’ve done and said? I’ve been a real bitch.”
“I’d like to stop using that word to describe you,” I say, pressing my lips together at the memory of the way Charles called her that.
“Bitch? I thought it was your favorite thing to call me.” She laughs.
“Not anymore.”
“Since when?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” She laughs again. “So, what would you like to call me now?”
“Mine.”
The word comes out before I can stop it. Luckily for me, the car in front of me slams on their brakes. As I slam on mine to avoid hitting him, I hope she didn’t hear what I just said.
The car jerks, making the seatbelt tighten around my sore ribs. My hand swings to the side to keep her from hitting the dashboard. It has become my first instinct to keep her safe at all costs.
“Fuck,” she yells.
“Sorry. This idiot just slammed on his brakes for no reason. Are you okay?”
“Yes. Asshole. Learn to drive better.” She laughs.
“I’ll get right on it.” I sigh, grateful she didn’t hear me.
What the fuck did I just say? Mine? Am I having a fucking stroke? Jesus Christ. I need to get my shit together. Mine? I’m an idiot. Fucking stupid.
There is no world in which Prue can be mine. There isn’t a chance in hell that ends up well for either of us. I don’t do commitment and she deserves more than I can ever offer.
Prue Ward is never going to be mine.
And that hurts more than any bruise could.
More than the memories I pretend don’t exist.
TWENTY-FIVE
Ben stops by a drug store.He makes me go inside with him since he is convinced I’ll bolt if he doesn’t have eyes on me at all times. It’s a little annoying to be treated like a child, but I probably deserve it.
He is right too. I would bolt if left alone. I need to get far away from Ben before I do something stupid. Like fall in love with him or something that will lead to more pain for the both of us.
He grabs some lotions and a bottle of aspirin. I toss in a bag of overpriced chocolates and a box of tampons trying to annoy him. He doesn’t say a word or react in any way. I throw in a box of condoms and a bottle of lube, hoping that will irritate him. Still, he doesn’t react, so I grab a pack of adult diapers, going to drop that into the basket he carries.
