In fact, most of these people seem to come from wealthy families. I overhear conversations about cruises and trips on yachts. Vacation houses and travel plans are all these people care about. That, and designer clothes.
Still, I’m having a decent night. While some of them are rich, none were necessarily famous. They were the outcasts of the elite, the wannabe rock stars among the soon-to-be lawyers and doctors. I am a big fish, and this is a small pond.
That doesn’t seem to faze them, though. They are happy to see me, but they don’t trip over themselves to try to get my attention. I get shown respect and admiration, but they treat me like I’m one of them.
It’s been far too long since I felt like I belonged somewhere. It’s almost sad that I feel more at home with these people I barely know than I have with my band lately.
Oddly, in the larger scene, I’ve been feeling a little lost. It’s hard when you get to the top. You never know who you can trust.Everyone is out to find a way to steal the spotlight. Jealousy runs rampant among the top dogs. You either bite or get chewed on.
Despite constantly touring with other bands, I haven’t made nearly as many friends as you’d expect. As a band, we learned early on to only trust each other. We are nice enough to the other bands in the scene and on the label, but we don’t consider them friends.
Now, as we all start to get older, our lives are starting to go in different directions. They are forming other relationships. Starting to think about the distant future. Making plans to better their lives while I’m just floating by.
I miss the days in the beginning when we were just stupid kids. There was no future, just the present. We’d waste our time doing stupid shit. Getting drunk. Tattooing our bodies. Living life to the fullest, with no thoughts about what tomorrow would bring.
Even then I was the odd man out. I knew early on that Dennis, Arron, and Nicolas didn’t care about me the same way Wes did. They put up with me because of Wes. Over the years they grew to like me, but if it came down to it, they would easily cast me to the side to save their own skin. I could only count on them so much. They’d back me in a fight, but they wouldn’t lay down their lives for me.
We are a family, but a family with limits. And those limits are starting to be tested.
I am starting to become a loose end for them to tie up.
One day, probably soon, they will ditch me and move on with their lives. I’ll become an abandoned has-been.
It’s extremely pathetic to think about.
“Hey,” Cameron says into my ear. “I’m going to disappear for a bit. If you see Prue, can you let her know I didn’t leave without her?”
I nod as he slinks off with a pretty girl.
I have no plans of running into the fun sucker. Doesn’t matter how hot she is, needy girls are not worth the headache.
Wandering my way through the crowd in desperate need of a cigarette and a moment of silence, I actively try not to spot Prue among the people.
I’m hoping the fresh air will help me sober up a little. The low feelings are starting to make my mood dip, and I’m bound to do something stupid if I don’t regain a sense of sobriety.
Glancing through a window, I find a tiny corner of the front porch not overflowing with people and make my way there.
Once outside, I let the cool winter air hit me. Glancing off to the side for a moment, I notice the short light brown hair that has been plaguing me all night.
Prue sits on the ledge of the porch. Her legs dangle over the railing, and the bottle of vodka from earlier sits to the side of her. Barely anything is gone from it, which isn’t surprising. She doesn’t seem like the type to let herself have any fun or get drunk.
I sigh softly, hoping she doesn’t hear me. Pulling out a cigarette, I light it carefully. I don’t need her bothering me, asking where Cameron is. I’d deliver the message, but I’m not in the mood to deal with any kind of bullshit tonight. Not even from a sexy girl.
Judging by the bruise on her face and the things Cameron has said about her, I just know letting myself get involved would lead to an altercation. It’s not in my nature to be okay with people being abused. While fist fights are a thing of my past, I’d easily kick the ass of whoever hurt her. But you can’t fight with your hands when you need them to play guitar for a living, so I try to avoid getting myself into those situations these days.
The sound of my lighter attracts her attention, though. Her head whips in my direction for a moment. Eyes scanning over me, before turning forward again. She wipes at the corner of hereyes. It’s a dick move not to check on her, but I don’t move, inhaling on my cigarette instead.
Silence surrounds us for a moment. Just the sound of me smoking and the sad vibes radiating off her fill the air.
Cursing under my breath, I take a step in her direction.
“Cameron wanted me to let you know he didn’t leave without you.”
“Good to know.” Her voice is full of annoyance.
I’m not nearly sober enough to deal with her attitude. Despite the loneliness that is creeping up on me, I’ve been having a good night. I’m not about to let her ruin it. I don’t care what she has been through. She has no right to bring everyone down with her.
“You can’t fault the guy for wanting to have a good night.”
