“I really just want to be alone.”
“Yeah, see… I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I smile. “And frankly I’m just a big enough asshole to not care about what you want. Why don’t we still go out? We’ll grab some food, hit up a few bars, and I’ll crash on the couch after.”
She sighs, folding her arms over her chest. Her hip sticks out as she studies me. She is probably trying to decide what mean thing to say next. What name will she hurl at me? What insult can she throw at me? And how bad will it hurt?
I try to hide how excited I am to hear whatever she is thinking about saying. I don’t want her to know I secretly enjoy the verbal abuse. That would just make her want to be nice to me. She is evil like that. A little vixen that has been put in my life to help me self-destruct.
“You still want to hang out with me?” she asks. It takes me a moment to accept she isn’t going to add a kick to the balls at the end of that question.
“Yeah?” I shrug. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“You call me a bitch, among other things. You keep saying how difficult I am. Then there is the little matter of my freak out this morning, and you literally just had to assault my ex to keep him from hurting me. Why the hell would you still want to be around me?”
“You’re the best cock sucker in town.” I smirk. Her eyes roll, even as her lips curve up into a small smile. “Please, Prue. Just come out with me, okay? I promise to be less of an asshole.”
“Is that even possible?”
“I think I can manage being a decent person for one night.”
“I’m not holding my breath.” She laughs, shaking her head.
“So?”
“Okay. Just give me a few minutes to fix my makeup.”
“I’ll wait right here.” I grin at her.
When she disappears into the room, I pull out my phone. I glance through the notifications. Seeing two missed calls from Wes should be a reminder that getting involved with Prue is a bad idea. All I have to do is call him. I know he would talk some sense into me. Remind me of what is on the line if I let myself get caught up in a girl’s chaos again.
But it’s far too late for him to save me. I’m fully sucked into the storm that surrounds Prue now. There is no turning back if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.
That should be the ultimate sign that things are going to end poorly, but I have a habit of ignoring red flashing signs. All the No Smoking, Emergency Exit, and No Crowd Surfing signs never stopped me. They mean nothing to me. I embrace the chaos, just like I am with Prue, now.
ELEVEN
Once again,I find myself staring into the bathroom mirror. My face is blotchy from crying. I apply a cold cloth to it, hoping to soothe some of it away. I also try to fix my makeup. If I’m going to go out with Ben, I don’t want to look like the sad girl I’ve seemed to become.
I can’t believe I let Charles put his hands on me again. When I opened the door and saw him standing there, I was too stunned to scream. Even when he pushed me inside and began berating me for trying to skip out on going with him, I couldn’t find it in myself to scream.
I only tried to escape when he pushed me against the wall. Slapping him resulted in him shoving me harder. From that moment all fight left my body.
Even when Ben came walking in, I didn’t have the strength to try to remove myself from the situation. I couldn’t. My mind wandered back to being a little kid and getting put in time out because I spilled my juice on my mother’s rug. From there it waslike an endless trip through memory lane as I tried to figure out how my life got to this point.
Where did I go wrong? I simply don’t know.
Having Ben defend me made me feel worse. It shouldn’t. I know that. He saved me from another beating. I should be grateful, but I never wanted him to see me vulnerable again. This morning was bad enough, but having him step in to save me from Charles’ fury was not what I wanted to happen. Just having him come whisk me away was bad, this showed him just how broken I truly am.
Kissing him added a layer to this nightmare I wasn’t expecting. I already knew what his lips felt like, but in the moment, they felt like safety. This morning it was all lust, but just moments ago, it was different.
I don’t know why my mind snapped. A self-preservation attempt to cover up the fact I was almost a victim yet again, I guess. But Ben pulled away. Something I’m both grateful for and a little hurt by. I know why he did it. Now it’s apparent that under that asshole exterior Ben Parker has a heart. He has a limit to his cruelty, and a moral compass that far out reaches the people I’m used to having in my life.
I can’t deny the fact that seeing that side of him did something to me. I had planned on using Ben as a distraction. I just wanted to have sex with him and never see him again. That idea is slipping from my grasps now. No longer do I think I’ll be able to get rid of him without feeling the loss in my gut.
The guy has been far nicer to me than anyone in my life, besides Cameron. He may call me names and make fun of me, but he does it in a way that makes me feel good. Like nothing he says is supposed to hurt me. In a way, it doesn’t. Not one word he said has caused me any level of pain comparable to what my own parents have said.
I’m afraid I’m starting to like Ben and that’s not something I can afford. Especially knowing I don’t have much say in my future. Just convincing my parents to not make me marry Charles is going to be hard enough. Asking them to let me even talk to Ben would be a miracle.
Plus, it’s not like Ben is offering me anything permanent. I’m not entirely sure why he keeps coming around. I’m certain given enough time that ends. He is still an asshole, a morally sound one, but an asshole, nonetheless.
