Tears falldown my face in a steady stream as I drive back to Cameron’s place. Ugly, snot filled, sobs fall from my lips, and I try not to wreck my car.
The idea that Charles has fucked me up so much that another man can’t touch me without causing me to think about him is too much. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to survive in this world alone, but apparently, I don’t have a choice.
After everything that happened to me, I shouldn’t be surprised that I couldn’t go through with it. I knew it was a possibility. It was the fear I had this whole time. I thought I could get past it. Thought I’d be able to block the memories out.
Ben is hot, gorgeous even. That kiss was the best I’ve ever had. The way his lips guided over mine, leading just slightly, but allowing me some semblance of control, made my whole-body melt. For just a moment, his lips were on mine, and it felt good. Everything else faded away.
He wanted me. I wanted him too. His cock in my mouth is not enough. I crave more. I knew he would deliver pleasurebeyond what I’ve been used to. I could feel it just from the kiss, but then he touched my ribs.
The spark of pain was small, but reminded me of what Charles did. Suddenly, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let Ben keep touching me while my mind was being flooded with memories of pain.
I’m sure it didn’t matter. Even if the pain in my ribs didn’t surface, something else would’ve taken me back to that night. Ben is right. What Charles did to me will live with me for the rest of my life.
Charles broke more than my skin, cracked more than just my ribs. He destroyed my spirit too.
Once back at Cameron’s, I crawl into bed. Pulling the blankets over my head, I curl into a ball and fall apart even more.
I have to get up in a few hours for my first class, but maybe Ben is right about that too. School is pointless when you don’t have any goal in mind. I should just drop out. There is no point in trying to live up to my parents’ standards anymore. Whatever guy they have me marry is going to want sex and when I can’t do it, there is going to be problems.
Problems I’m not sure I want to deal with. It’s better if I just disappear. Letting down my parents isn’t going to go over well. They will disown me, and then I won’t be able to afford school anyways. Or life. Or anything.
I’m better off getting a crappy job somewhere and trying to get by on my own.
But old habits die hard. As I stand in the bathroom, staring at the redness in my eyes and bags underneath them, and Cameron knocks, complaining once again about how long I’m taking in the bathroom, I’m reminded of the truth.
I’m not trying to make my parents happy for myself. I’m doing it for Cameron. I’m doing it to keep the pressure off him. Everything I endure is so he can achieve his dream.
I know he wouldn’t want me to continue. Not with how bad things have gotten. If I stay on their good side though, I get to reap the benefits that come with being the Ward’s only golden child. Getting back on their good side would allow me to share some of those benefits with Cameron.
Sighing, I accept the fact I don’t have a choice. I will go to class today, play the part once again. Then ultimately, I will go back to the life I had before.
Opening the door, Cameron greets me with a small smile. When he sees my face, it fades.
“Are you okay?” he asks. Being twins means he can read me almost better than anyone. It’s the fact we have the same eyes. It’s always been hard to keep things from him. One look into my eyes and he just knows when something is up.
“I’m fine.” I offer him a smile back. “Or I will be,” I lie.
“You know, Prue, we don’t need them. We never did.”
“It’s not about needing, Cam. They’re our parents.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “They just happen to be two people who are responsible for unleashing us onto the world. They stopped being our parents when they decided we were nothing but stock options.”
“I still have to go back.”
“No, you don’t. They don’t care that Charles…”
“Cam, if I don’t go back, we both suffer the consequences.”
“I’ve been managing just fine. And you’re smarter than me, so you will be even better.”
“I won’t go back unless they agree that I don’t have to marry him.”
“They will just pick someone worse.”
“Doubt they could find anyone worse than him.” I fake a grin. “I’ll be fine, Cam. I promise.”
“Yeah.” He nods, brows scrunched up as he stares at the bathroom door. “Just promise me you’ll tell me before you leave.”
