“I make no promises.”
He nods before walking away.
I’m left alone, with no idea how I’m going to fix this. My heart hurts too much to come up with a plan as I stand on the courthouse steps. Once I get home, I’ll think of something. I’ll do whatever it takes to set Prue free, to keep her safe. Even if it lands me in prison for the rest of my life.
THIRTY-ONE
I didn’t getto see him. That’s the only thing I can think about as Charles grips my thigh as we drive back to my parents’ house. I didn’t even get to see him one last time.
Tears sting my eyes, but I know I don’t have the luxury of crying right now. If Charles even thinks I’m crying over Ben, he will not be happy.
“So here is how this is going to work. Everyone has agreed to just pretend your little outburst never happened, but you’re going to have to play extra nice for a little. You know, lay it on thick with the girls. Let them get their way for a bit. Not too long, after all, once we are married, you’ll be the queen bee, but for now, just let them see how sorry you are for this whole mess.”
“Yes.” I nod.
“With me things are trickier. Outwardly I’ll be completely forgiving, but you know it’s going to take some work on your part to make me truly forget about everything you put me through.”
“Yes.”
I love how he says everything I put him through, like he wasn’t the one who hurt me. Like he was the one who ended up in the hospital.
“Are you even sorry at all?” he snaps, digging his fingers into my thigh.
“I’m very sorry,” I whisper.
“If anyone finds out you fucked him…” His voice trails off, but the tone paints a picture of what would happen then. “Let’s just hope that doesn’t happen.”
“It won’t.”
“Good. Now before I even think of touching you like that, you’ll need to get tested. I’ll want a copy of the results sent to me directly. I assume you wore a condom, but you can’t be so sure who that punk has been with.”
“True.” It’s easier to just agree to whatever he says than speak too much.
“In the meantime, I’m going to be screwing around. Not a lot, but enough. Only fair, right?”
“Yes.” I nod. My soul feels like it’s being crushed with each agreement, but I have no choice. “I understand.”
“It won’t be forever, though I may pick up a girl here or there, but overall, the sex with you is pretty good. When you’re pregnant, I’ll probably have an affair or two, but I’ll be discreet. Though we should probably get on the baby making quickly. I figure I’ll propose around Christmas. We can have the wedding in June and get to getting you knocked up.”
“Makes sense.”
He has my whole life planned out for me. He gets to do whatever he wants, and I just have to sit there with a fucking smile on my face. It makes me want to scream, but all I can do is play along. Ben’s freedom depends on it.
“I’m so glad to see you getting on board. Your father thought you’d put up more of a fight, but I knew you’d respond well to the bait. You are a smart girl after all.”
“No.” I laugh. “I’m not smart at all.”
“Maybe smart is the wrong word, but either way, I’m glad you’ve returned to me. Even if you’ve been a real bitch.”
My father spends an hour screaming at me. I don’t absorb his words. They hold no meaning. They can’t hurt me anymore than the mere fact he is willing to hand me back to a man who beat me.
After, my mother spends a good few minutes ripping me apart, she tells me how being a whore will get me nowhere and I should be ashamed for letting myself sink so low. I fight the urge to tell her to fuck off.
I don’t mention the tattoo, but I’m sure Charles will when he sees it. The only saving grace is I get a few days before he expects me to fuck him. I’m going to avoid that as much as possible. I much rather him cheat now then stick his dick in me. All it would do is remind me of what I’m missing out on.
Ben has called me repeatedly. Left me voice messages I can’t bring myself to listen to and text messages I can’t bear to read. Eventually I take to blocking his number. It’s easier this way. He will get over it, and I will relive every moment we shared together for the rest of my life.
When Cameron calls, I answer, only because I want to avoid him coming over here and causing a scene.
