I shake my head. "No, baby. I would take you if I could, but I'm not allowed."
"The guards?"
I sigh, already defeated. "Sadly."
"That's okay, Mommy." He pulls me into a big hug.
I press a kiss to his forehead and stay in the moment as long as possible. My chest tightens for no reason—just the same anxiety I always get when I have to leave his side. I trace the curve of his cheek, the faint scar at his eyebrow from when he tripped in the garden at the old house.
"I'll be back soon."
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you the most."
I leave before the lump in my throat gets too big.
I movethrough town on autopilot. The guards stay close. Two shadows at all times, and I've stopped trying to shake them at this point.
I do what I'm told. Move through shops. Purchase items from the list. Nod when spoken to. Keep my head down. I'm trying really hard to be good for Hale. In order to escape, I need Ewan to trust me enough to lay off my back for a bit.
The SUV windows are blacked out both ways. I can't track where we are or how we get back to the estate, but my body feels something is wrong before we even pull in.
I don't know if it's instinct or paranoia anymore. The house feels wrong the moment I step inside.
Most of the guards aren't in their usual places. Another rotation. Another reshuffling I wasn't told about.
I hand the bags to a staff member who won't meet my eyes and head toward the study where Hale should be finishing his lessons.
Except he isn't there.
The chair by the window sits empty. His pencils are gone. The half-finished drawing from yesterday is missing from the desk.
I check my watch. They still had thirty minutes left.
Cold, quiet dread settles over me.
I take the stairs two at a time.
His bedroom door is already open. The second I step inside, all the air is torn from my lungs.
The bed is stripped bare, the mattress exposed. All the shelves are empty, and his big brown toy chest is gone. Even the rug has been rolled away, leaving pale rectangular marks on the floor where it used to sit.
Everything is gone. Like my baby was never here at all.
My heart slams against my ribs erratically. For the first time in months, I'm not certain I can control it.
I move through the house dizzy. I can't get enough air, no matter how hard I try.
Ewan's office is locked. The dining room is empty. He's nowhere.
The urge to scream sits in my throat like broken glass.
I stop a staff member in the hall, fingers closing around her wrist before I can think better of it. "Where is he? Where is Ewan?"
She won't look at me. "He's unavailable, Mrs. Calder."
I'm going to fucking kill him.
