That catches me off guard.
"You're telling me you got an innocent person killed to save me? Why the fuck would you do that?"
Rain drums between us as I watch his chest heave. "There wasn't another option. Believe me, I tried."
His hand is still locked around my wrist, holding me like he's afraid I'll attack if he lets go. Water drips from his lashes onto my lips.
"You should have told me," I mutter. "I didn't need saving."
He scoffs. "You did. You still do."
The look in his eyes hurts more than the bark digging into my back.
"Tristan," I say his name without meaning to, and he flinches at the sound. "If you're so pissed off at me, why haven't you asked for reassignment?"
His grip shifts, fingers tightening as he angles his body further into me.
"What?"
"You heard me. If I'm such a pain in your ass, if I keep ruining your precious plans, why are you still here?"
He doesn't answer.
The forest hums around us as rain patters against leaves, soaking into the ground. Our breaths fog the inch of space between our mouths.
"I needed time to find something." He breaks the silence.
"What did you need to find? You thought I'd lead you to Doyle?"
He shakes his head. "No. You don't understand."
But he doesn't say anything else, and I'm left with all the disappointment in his unsaid words. For a second, I thought…
"I think under all that ice you're just as fucked up as I am. You just hide it better."
His breathing deepens. "Why haven't you left? You could have dropped this months ago. Why stick around?"
"I—" Honestly, I don't know.
He leans in. "Exactly."
"Fuck you," I snap, turning my face away because I can't breathe.
He steps away and I push off the tree, wanting to get as far away from him as possible.
But I only take two steps before his hand catches the back of my neck and he pulls me back.
"Don't." The word is barely sound, more breath than voice.
Tristan stares at me like I'm the last thing standing between him and total ruin. Like he's been holding onto control by his fingernails and I just kicked his hands out from under him.
His other hand slams against the tree beside my head, caging me in completely.
I hold my breath, watching something in him shatter.
"Fuck it."
His mouth crashes into mine and everything else stops mattering.
