Instead, he stopped and went quiet.
He gave me space for the anger, and I remember looking at him, seeing the aching tenderness hiding behind all that steel. A gentleness he protected so fiercely I wondered who had taught him it was something he should be ashamed of.
I'd kissed him then. Right in the middle of our fight.
I told him he didn't have to hide from me, and he looked so confused, like no one had ever said those words to him before.
We always understood each other in ways that didn't require words. I felt it then. I feel it now.
This invisible thread between us that so many years and an ocean and a dirtbag couldn't sever.
"Hey." His voice pulls me back. "Where'd you go?"
I blink. "Nowhere. Just…remembering."
"Remembering what?"
You. The way you used to look at me when you thought I wasn't paying attention. The way you'd trace patterns on my skin while I slept, like you were trying to memorize me. The way you never once made me feel like I owed you anything.
"Nothing," I say instead. "It doesn't matter."
"Worried about the plan?"
"No. I trust you." And I mean it completely.
His certainty should worry me. The confidence bordering on arrogance, and his complete disregard for his own mortality that makes him think he can walk into hell and walk out carrying everything he came for.
But it's different with Tristan. It's always been different.
He's not performing. Not calculating how to use me or control me or whittle me down into something more manageable. He's not pretending to be something he's not.
He just is.
It makes me want to collapse into him and let him carry the weight I've been holding alone for so long. Let him take the fear and the exhaustion and the constant, grinding vigilance that's kept me alive but hasn't let me live.
I want to rest.
I want to stop fighting for once and trust that he will catch me when I fall.
"There's something I need to tell you." The words slip out before I change my mind. "About what happened. Back then."
FORTY-ONE
KEIRA
Tristan's expression doesn't change. "You don't have to."
"Yes, I do." I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold in a way that has nothing to do with the morning air. "You deserve to know why I?—"
"Keira." He moves into my space, hands gripping my arms protectively. "I don't need to hear it."
"But I set you up. I let you think I betrayed you."
"You did what you had to do to survive." His voice is steady. Certain. "I've known that since the moment I realized what you've been living with."
My throat constricts. "You don't understand. He threatened you. Said he'd kill you if I didn't go with him. Said he'd kill our baby and make me watch."
Tristan goes very still.
