“Do you need anything before I go shower? I need to wash the New York subway smell off my body.”
It only took me sustaining a serious head injury for Zoe to finally loosen up around me.
“I do, actually,” I say, ignoring the heavy pounding in my chest. I don’t know why I’m so nervous.
Jesus Christ, I feel like a teenager.
“What is it?”
“I need you.”
She snorts. “No sex. I’m here to keep an eye on you, not zap your energy.”
I give her a sly grin as I pull out a green cardboard box the size of a shoebox from under my bed. “That’s not what I’m referring to. But you know I’ll always have the energy to make you come.”
Zoe gapes at the box, then looks back at me in disbelief. “Where did you get that? You went through my stuff!”
“You went through mine first. Fair is fair.”
She storms over, attempting to snatch the box from my hand but ends up stumbling and falling into me instead. Steadying herself by holding onto my bare shoulder, she looks at me with wide eyes. She doesn’t pull away, though. The smell of vanilla and citrus fills the air around me, and I can’t help but want to draw her closer and kiss her. I want to capture every part of her so there is never any doubt in her mind that this is real, that I am here to stay.
Nothing could, or will, ever separate us. Not in this lifetime, or the next. I don’t care how ridiculous or cheesy that might sound, it’s the truth.
“Give that back.” Zoe’s voice is barely audible.
I know she feels it too. She just needs to let me inside her head.
Grabbing her wrist, I bring Zoe close to my chest so that we’re sharing the same air as her vibrant green eyes lock onto mine.
“You read the ending, and you didn’t change it,” I accuse.
She retorts, “I didn’t read your ending.”
I remember that day like it was yesterday, and I know Zoe does too. I decorated her room with post-it notes from classical romance novels. Along with the novels, I left a seemingly blank notebook at the bottom. However, it wasn't really blank. I wrote our ending in it, and I'm certain she read it. Her eyes convey everything that her lips can't.
“Don’t lie, you little brat. Those dried tear stains give you away.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Despite Zoe’s attempts to run, she remains trapped. I have her cornered, leaving her with no escape. I move the box out of the way and position her with her back against my chest. Taking in a deep breath, she keeps quiet while I sneak a peek at her parted lips. I make her wait for my next move, my next words, relishing in her discomfort as I notice the goosebumps appearing between her breasts.
Fuck, I could take her right here, and I know she’d like it. I know my dirty little brat wants to be filled so badly, but she won’t get that. Not until she admits to me what she’s known all along. Not until she willingly submits this time.
“I know everything, little butterfly. I know you care more than you let on. That you hate how much you want me and you won’t let yourself feel it. I also know you felt scared that day.”
Zoe’s silence stretches on, making me wonder if she’s deliberately shutting me out until I let her go. Her breaths grow shorter and deeper, and her body trembles against mine. It’sclear she’s wrestling with her thoughts, holding back the words she wants to say. I wish I could save her from herself and fill the room with words she’s not ready to hear. Instead, I stay quiet, allowing her to navigate through her emotions as I hold her tightly, reminding her she’s not alone.
She’ll never be alone, even when she doesn’t want me there. I want to walk alongside her through every storm. Until the echoes of my existence become deafening, drowning out the pain from her past.
“Seeing you on the ice that day made me lose my mind. I don’t even know what happened. I had no control over it. It all hit me at once.” Her voice is so quiet. For a second, it feels like I’ve imagined it.
I don’t know what to say. Maybe I’m dead and in a place where the woman I love wants me back. That’s my ideal Heaven, if it exists—being with Zoe forever.
Her eyes fixate on the wall as she tightly clenches her hands on top of her thighs.
“I would never leave you.”
She shuts her eyes, pushing back the tears.
