ZOE
I’m in excruciating pain.
I want to die. Actually, I’m pretty certain I am dying…a slow, painful death.
All because of a certain blonde.
“Come on! One more round. You can do it. Choose your hard,” the instructor yells over the loud EDM music as all the workout junkies pedal faster on their spin bikes.
Everyone but me… How am I this out of shape? I go for runs regularly, but this type of workout is next-level. It feels like a training camp forThe Hunger Games.
Via convinced me to come to this new spin club during our lunch hour instead of waiting in line at our favorite food truck like we normally do. I wanted to stuff my face with a burger but somehow got roped into sweating my ass off.
She promised me I’d feel better duringandafter the workout. But Via is a big, fat liar.
I don’t feel better. It feels like Death is about to take me home and have his way with me.
Although, I will admit, focusing on how not to die in the last forty-five minutes has been a welcome distraction. It’s the firsttime I haven’t actively thought about what happened last week in Dominik’s apartment.
It’s been a week of avoidance on my part and him doing everything he can to get me to talk to him. Texts. Calls. Emails. Showing up at Aaron’s. Work visits. Flower deliveries. And messages on all my fucking devices.
The man has serious issues. He’s relentless. I’m secretly happy he’s suffering, though.
One would expect that after days of being completely ignored by someone, you would get the hint and back off. But not Dominik Lewis. If anything, my silence only seems to fuel his persistence. Unfortunately for him, I couldn’t care less.
He could buy me all of Manhattan, and it wouldn’t matter to me. I’m still not interested in talking to him about what happened. I’m over it. Over him and any words he may throw my way.
Words mean nothing. Everything I need to know about Dominik is in his track record. He’s a selfish asshole who only cares about his happiness. He tapped into the most vulnerable parts of me, made me believe he was someone else and…
Except that’s where I get stuck, because the more I think about that night in Boston, the more I realize he never had his way with me in the way he wanted to. I never asked him about his desires. He was honest about his mask and how he wanted to keep it on. That night was about me and my needs. He gave me the experience I desired. And I let him. I agreed to his conditions.
But you didn’t know it was him.
I’ve gone over every detail, every conversation I had with Runi. Every touch. Glance. Kiss. Every single moment.
I’ve exhausted myself with how much I’ve thought about it. Which means I also remember him telling me his mask had to stay on and that he couldn’t expose his face to me. I brushed pastit, knowing everyone in that place wanted to stay anonymous. That was the entire theme of the night. Why didn’t I take a pause then? Look further into his words? Because I didn’t care at the time. Which means I’m to blame here, too. I was too curious and hungry to pass up a night with him.
I would have stopped. Knowing it was Dominik behind the mask—I would have left.
But would you really?
Yes, I’d like to think that I would have. Because it was never like that with him.
None of it makes sense.
“Great job, everyone! You were all so wonderful today. I’m so proud of you for showing up and choosing to be a better version of yourself. Grab a drink and turn down the dial. We’re rolling into our cool down,” the instructor shouts, reminding me where I am at this moment.
“Thank fuck,” I grunt, taking a swig from my water bottle.
“That was amazing, wasn’t it? How do you feel?” Via is glistening under the blue studio lights, covered in a dusting of sweat. Her blonde bob is half pulled back. She’s wearing spandex shorts and a black sports bra, her abs and perky tits on full display. She’s in amazing shape. Probably because she can’t sit still and spends her free time at places like this. I wish I were like that or had that kind of drive.
Even I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. How she’s single in New York is beyond me, but I haven’t been brave enough to dig that deep into her personal life yet.
“I feel like I’m going to kill you as soon as we leave this studio,” I huff out, taking twice as long to finish my sentence in between breaths.
She laughs. “It’s normal. Your first few times are tough, but if you stick with it, you’ll be a spin addict in no time.”
Doubtful.
