When I’m with her and we’re lost in one another, it’s easy to forget that Zoe doesn’t feel the same way about me. She doesn’t crave or want me in the same way. She’s never sought me out. It’s always been me chasing after her, running toward her. But I guess that’s a given, considering everything I put her through. I will continue to do whatever it takes, trust blindly until I win herover and she finally lets go, knowing I’ll be right there to catch her.
After the locker room, something changed. Instead of lashing out or running away, she stayed around with me. It felt like a moment of hope. I could tell she felt it too. Her eyes revealed it all as she absorbed my words, staring at me as if she actually believed me.
Like she finally forgave me.
But then, when we parted, reality came crashing down, and she pulled away once more. Shutting me out in hopes of, what? Getting me to back off?
Never going to fucking happen.
I am closer to her than I have ever been, and Zoe might think she’s using me for sex, but I don’t even care. I’ll bide my time until she comes around or I break her apart.
My phone buzzes on the kitchen island, and I nearly trip over my feet trying to get to it.
Aaron
Was Zoe at the game?
My heart sinks as I realize the text is not from Zoe.
Me
No
Aaron
Second game in a row?
Me
I guess, yeah.
Aaron
Did you guys get into a fight?
Me
Nope.
Not the type of fight you’re thinking anyway, bro. I’ve actually been enjoying your sister in so many positions. Funny how I used to feel sick about crossing that line, but now, I give zero fucks. The longer Aaron ignores our conversation about his parents, the more resentful I’m becoming. I don’t feel guilty for being with Zoe anymore, not if he’s going to avoid what’s important.
Aaron
Why are you being so cold? You’ve both been acting weird, but I’m not having this conversation over text. It doesn’t look good that she’s missed back-to-back games. Might want to have a talk with your fake girlfriend.
Gritting my teeth, I take a deep breath before typing out a reply.
Me
She doesn’t have to show up to every game. And don’t worry about it. I’ve got your sister handled. Let me know when you want to have that chat.
Bubbles pop up and disappear. The one thing these siblings have in common is their exceptional skill at avoiding tough conversations. Before engaging in confrontational conversations, Aaron makes sure he has all the information neatly organized in his mental file folder. Like a skilled detective, he insists on having the details meticulously laid out, to give him the upper hand. If I were to make a single change about him, it would be that. Aaron’s constant need for control makescommunication feel rigid and suffocating, which is incredibly infuriating.
But Aaron is right about one thing, I do need to talk to my girlfriend. Clicking on Zoe’s chat, I send a direct message.
Me
Where are you?
