Everything feels just as it should as she unravels in my embrace, like all the puzzle pieces of my life have finally fallen into place.
13
ZOE
The first thing I see as I open my eyes is Dominik lying on his stomach with his face nestled against the pillow. His breathing is calm and rhythmic, reminding me of a beautiful painting.
My mind is a swirling mix of emotions, and relentless confusion gnaws at me. I’m uncertain as to why I’m still holding onto the anger, and right now, I can’t even be bothered by it. That’s not to say I’ve forgotten everything that happened, but my apathy has grown.
And that confession last night. What am I supposed to do with that?
“Hate me, but you’ll never escape me.”
There’s a part of me that believes he’s done a good deal to prove himself, while the other part feels like it will never be enough. But I’m running out of reasons to keep up this act. Last night was amazing, and I just want more of it. Can’t we have just the physical? The lies can never be completely erased, no matter how many apologies are offered, grand gestures made, or efforts put forth. It’s not like there is a future here, so I should just enjoy this for what it is, shouldn’t I?
Why do I feel guilty?
Aaron.
Yeah, he’d never allow it.
Knowing all that didn’t seem to make a difference in the way I came alive last night. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. Even after I was sore and exhausted, I needed more of him. It felt good to enjoy something other than anger, pain, and betrayal. When he’d called for a break at the hot tub, it was all I could think about. In the midst of my anger, I couldn’t help but still want him. Wanting someone like that, isn’t it like inhaling toxic fumes?
Gently, I rise from the bed, cautiously watching Dominik to avoid disturbing him. I need more time to figure out what I want and where to go from here. There’s still a complete flight left for us to get through before we reach home. Daylight peeks through the curtains, casting a soft glow around the room. My core tightens with need as I remember every second of our time together from last night. I lost track of how many times I came, and when I couldn’t climax anymore, he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. Took his time washing my body under the hot water, running his hands carefully along every inch of my body as if he was worshiping me. Like he was trying to commit all of it to memory, worried he was dreaming or something.
We barely got any sleep, and yet here I am, wide awake and wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life. How do I keep finding myself in impossible situations?
I slip out of bed and begin grabbing my things quietly. I need to leave this room without waking him up because when he gets up, he’s going to want to talk about what last night meant, and I can’t have this conversation with him right now…or ever. I’m exhausted, confused, horny, and just done with this trip.
I just want to go home.
I quickly get dressed, stuffing everything into my bag and grabbing my phone. I feel hesitant to check for any messages ormissed calls. The mere thought of Aaron’s disappointment and the judgment he would cast on me if he knew what happened last night leave a bitter taste in my mouth. He has always seen me as his broken, fragile sister, someone he has to protect from everything and everyone because he couldn’t save me from our parents. He has never seen me as a woman with desires and faults. I can’t be the reason he loses his best friend. There is no way I would do that to my brother, the only person who has ever been there for me, who has loved me.
Why is Dominik so indifferent to everything now? Aaron’s feelings used to be important to him as well, but suddenly, it feels like he doesn’t care about anything else except this pursuit. His only goal is to possess me and emerge victorious. And afterward, he’ll just leave. Just like everything else that has left my life.
Nothing lasts forever. Absolutely nothing. And I just need to repeat that to myself before I drown in these emotions.
It’ll be over before you know it, so why not have fun in the meantime?
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy him.
That’s another option. I could just toss all this messy emotional baggage aside and continue to have fun. Make Dominik my dirty little secret. He has what I need physically, and we could explore things we didn’t have time for at the masquerade ball. I could finally get another chase through the woods. I’ve been dying to experience that again.
Just the thought makes my panties wet.
I’m crazy, but so is he. As a matter of fact, he likes my brat. When am I going to find an opportunity like this again? Go back to Rabbit Hole and post online? Yeah, I don’t think so.
Is it a weakness to consider doing this? Acknowledging my surrender in desiring him? I took that step last night, and it turned out even better than I could have imagined.
It’s actually quite simple and straightforward. We could come up with an arrangement, finding the perfect times when we’re certain we won’t be caught, or we could simply continue doing this covertly. Last night was proof that Dominik won’t reject me.
The hotel door clicks shut behind me as I tiptoe down the hallway, making my way to the lobby as I try to shake off the post-sex horniness following me around like a ghost. Thankfully, both the elevator and lobby are empty of Slasher players, which means I have some time to myself before we all need to leave for our flight.
The quiet hum of the morning hotel activities seem distant, an echo of a world I’m trying to distance myself from. I wish there were someone I could confide in about all of this. Someone to tell me what I should do and if getting more involved with Dominik is a good idea. I always do this. Get myself more into trouble by being reckless and unapologetic. I did it with Greg too, muddying the waters where I worked, and look where it led me.
If I go ahead with this, I could hurt Aaron, potentially destroying his relationship with his best friend. What kind of sister would do that for their own selfish needs?
Strolling through the deserted hallways, I stumble upon a hidden nook, far from prying gazes, where I sink into a plush armchair. The usually vibrant hotel lobby is unnervingly still at this early hour, but I’m thankful for that because it’s exactly what I need right now.
