I’ve cared about her for such a long time. Why did it take me this long to realize that this feeling is actually love? My unwavering need for Zoe has fueled everything I’ve done.
I should have protected her.
“No,” Zoe mutters under her breath.
Her hands press into my chest, and her eyes finally open before she pushes me away.
“You don’t get to fucking touch me.No!” Her scream fills the closet as she gets to her feet, racing out with the masks still in her hands.
“Zoe, please. Let me explain.”
I’m following her out of the closet and into my bedroom when she turns around. Her cheeks are red, her eyes puffy, and her chest heaving.
“Explain what exactly, Dom? The countless times you lied to my face? How you kept lying this entire time? Or do you want to explain the fact that you fucked me in Boston, in disguise, while knowing exactly who I was? Or better yet, let’s talk about the fact that you’ve been stalking me for years! Is that why you got close to Aaron? So you could be near me?”
“Yes,” I blurt out. “It started out that way, but he’s like a brother to me. That has never been a lie.”
“How could you do that to me? How could you do that to Aaron?” Zoe struggles to contain her anger.
Her questions replay in my mind, but I’m drawing a blank. I don’t know what to say to make this better. I’m not sure anything I say right now could.
Shaking my head, I take a step toward her. “I know. I’m the world’s biggest piece of shit. You think I don’t know that? I…I’m a different person around you.”
“So, this is my fault somehow?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. What I did was wrong, but I knew if I removed my mask, it would change everything. I needed that night to be ours, as Runi and Parvaneh. I needed to be with you without reality getting in the way. Hiding in plain sight, lying to you like that, tracking your conversations online, keeping tabs on you…these were all wrong, and I’m sorry for them. But I’m not sorry for that night with you in Boston because it was the best night of my life. I never thought I’d get the chance to be with you. To taste your lips, to hold you, to feel you… That night was just ours.”
She can’t even look at me. “That night was a lie. It was all a lie.”
“That’s not true. It’s never been a lie. Not for me.”
Zoe winces. Her glare turns dark as she holds up the masks from that night. The one with the red light fromThe Purgeand the other I wore during the masquerade ball, matte black covering half my face.
“It was never real. You ruined it for me when you hid the truth from me. Using me. Was that what last night was too? Taking whatever it is you want from me whenever you feel like it?”
This is wrong. It’s all coming out wrong.
“It’s not like that, Zoe. I wish you could see inside my head. I’ve been hiding for so long, trying to run from this and from what I want the most. I know you can feel that. Maybe if you could see, you’d know what it means to want you like this.”
“Don’t!” she screams. “I don’t want to fucking hear it.”
I approach her, taking the masks from her hands and throwing them onto the floor.
“I can’t stop. I’ve never been able to. Don’t you see that? You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, the closest to happiness I’ll ever get, Zo. I can’t let you go. Ever since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“No.”
“This is it for me. I won’t lose you again.”
“Get away from me.” She pulls away, taking everything I said and throwing it onto the floor next to the masks that are staring up at us.
“I won’t,” I state calmly, leaning against the door and blocking her in.
Zoe abruptly stops crying, using the back of her hands to wipe her tear-stained face. Taking two steps toward me, she gradually regains control of her breathing. The trembling in her body subsides, as though every ounce of emotion has drained from her. It’s as if she reached a point of emptiness where she’s drained every ounce of her feelings.
“I never want to see your face again. Get out of my way.”
That’s too fucking bad.
