Finally, he turns toward me. “I wish you could see inside my mind. I wish you could feel everything I’ve always felt for you. How hard it’s been to try to forget you. If you could feel just a fraction of it, if you could see it…you wouldn’t dare tell me to let go. There is no letting go, Zoe. You’re my endgame.”
I blink at him, unable to truly grasp his words, or maybe my brain is short-circuiting, because I don’t understand.
“Stop fucking saying shit like that. Don’t tell me words that mean nothing. I don’t want to hear it.”
Dominik tightly grips my throat, pulling me in toward his face and stealing the air from my lungs. “I don’t give a shit what you want or don’t want to hear. This is the truth. It’s my truth, and you’re going to hear it.”
“I don’t want you.”
“Then what do you want?”
Nothing. Everything.
Something…
I want to forget who I am and step into the unknown.
I want an escape, even if it’s just for a short time.
“I don’t know,” I stammer out, unable to keep my eyes on him as I feel my cheeks burn with that realization. Dominik senses it as he releases his grip on me, forcing me to inhale deeply.
“I think you do, and I think it scares you. I think you want this, but you don’t know how to ask for it or even allow yourself to feel it. I’m fighting for you—for us—for this because it’s so much bigger than you and me, Zoe. Can’t you feel that?”
“No, you’re wrong. I can’t feel anything.”
His eyes darken. “That’s not true. You can feel everything, and you feel it too much. It’s too heavy and too painful, so youshut yourself out. You walk away before things get too emotional or messy. Before you start to care.”
I shake my head, fighting the growing knot forming in my throat. “Please stop talking.” Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath before I feel his palm press into my cheek.
“It’s time to put the pain down, Zoe. You don’t have to carry it alone anymore. You don’t need it. Let me take the burden for a little while until you realize you’re so much more than the pain. Until you can finally release it and never look at it again. Put it down and let me carry it for you.”
Before I even realize it, a tear rolls down my cheek, and by the time I notice, it’s too late to prevent it. I can’t hide or withdraw anymore because Dominik gently wipes it away with his thumb, and in that moment, I understand it’s all over.
I know he’s seen a glimpse into me, and I can no longer hide.
His gaze lingers on me, filled with a type of genuine need I haven’t experienced before, not a trace of disgust or disdain. It’s comforting to be seen like this but simultaneously terrifying. I’m struggling against this vulnerability—I hate feeling so exposed.
I don’t want any part of this.
Pain is easy. It’s formulaic. Sadness. Revenge. Hate. Anger. They are all simple emotions. Need. Desire. Affection. Love… Those are all hard emotions. Some are even impossible.
I need to get out of here. Fuck the pause. I can’t think straight.
Rising to my feet, I don’t bother looking down at Dominik as I rasp out an apology before bolting toward the exit. I hear Dominik call out my name, but I don’t stop, my eyes blurring as I push past the glass doors and head for the stairwell.
12
DOMINIK
I can’t do anything right. This game we’ve been playing is much more fragile than I realized. Zoe needs more than gestures, apologies, and time. She requires a firm foundation and proof that I won’t leave. If only I could filter my words and think before speaking, I would. I hate that I’m making her uncomfortable, but I also think it’s necessary in order to break through to her.
And I will fucking break through if it’s the last thing I do. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to her that this is real.
That it’s always been real for me.
After she left the pool area, I took the elevator up to the room, only to find it empty. It’s been over ten minutes now, and I’ve been waiting for her to walk in. If she doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to check the stairwell. I’m worried that she might be having another panic attack all alone.
I meant every word I said tonight about shouldering us through this. I’m beyond eager—I want to take her pain, lift the weight off her shoulders, and provide her with a sense of safety, a chance to trust her heart. But she won’t let me. She’s resisting at every step. All I’ve ever wanted was to make her feel alive, cherished, and loved. I’m going to give that to her. I’ve nevershied away from a challenge, and I don’t intend to start now, especially when it involves the most significant undertaking of my life.
