Excuse me?
“Why are you staring at me like that? You understand English, right?” Via mocks.
“I don’t understand what is happening right now.”
Inhaling deeply through her nose and exhaling slowly through her mouth, she uses her arms to aid in a more efficient breathing pattern.
“I know you’re working hard to find your Zen right now, so it’s probably not the right time to tell you that there is a blob of cream on your chin.” Cringing, I chew the corner of my nail, trying not to laugh when Via goes from forced calm to sheer panic.
“That’s it. Whatever we had is over in about two hours.”
I laugh at her theatrics. “Why two hours? Why not now?”
“Because of that, you dimwad!” she whisper-yells, crouching and pointing her thumb at whatever is beyond our cubicle wall.
Confused, I finally stand from my chair and choke when I see why Via has been losing her mind. “Oh. My. God.”
“I know! He’s here, and you didn’t tell me.”
“Does it look like I knew?” I collapse onto my chair, retreating into myself as if that’s going to magically make me disappear.
“Why are you behaving like this?”
Wait. I suddenly remember when Tristan suggested Dom should drop in to the office and apologize to Tracy for the flower fiasco, but I figured he’d at least have the decency to give me a heads up.
There is no time for the blame game right now. I need to put on my girlfriend mask and behave. With so many witnesses around, I’m certain Greg will hear about whatever happens before the day ends. This is my chance to shine and give a big, giant middle finger to every asshole who has been talking shit behind my back.
“I just hate surprises, and I didn’t know he was coming today. My man loves grand gestures.”
Via beams, her eyes shimmering. “Aw, that’s so sweet! Who knew such a hot athlete was also incredibly romantic? Everything they said about him online is completely untrue. People are such jealous assholes.”
If only she knew. “Mm-hmm, they sure are.”
Via constantly surprises me, even when I believe I have her all figured out. She is often the epitome of a posh New Yorker, complete with her high-end pant suits and luxurious handbags. Other times, she is a chaotic mess. She’s all over the map but unapologetically genuine. I think that’s why I like her so much. She is unbothered by others’ judgment and embraces her true self daily. While I wish I could be more like that, I’ve found it easier to hide from everyone and everything as the years have gone by.
I’m a coward and lie to everyone, including myself.
Sound like someone else you know?
No, not even remotely close. I’m not harming anyone by doing this. Dominik hurt me for his pleasure. There is a difference.
No matter how much you try to lie to yourself with alternative versions of the events, you know he didn’t doanything without your consent. You crave to be tamed, and now that you know he can do that, you’re scared. Eventually, you’ll lose him too.
Pressing my eyes shut, I shove down the terrible voice in my head. My fucking anxiety shows up at the worst times.
“Are you okay?” Via whispers, and I feel her icy hand press against my cheek, her touch helping to pull me back.
One more second. One more breath before I have to slip into a role, to be someone else for a little while. This isn’t for me, it’s for someone else. It’s for my brother, because I know how much Dominik means to him. One more second to let the hateful words I say to myself wash over me.
Opening my eyes, I smile at Via. “Yes, of course. We might as well go say hi.”
Via’s eyes turn into dinner saucers. “Oh my God, absolutely not. Holy shit. It just dawned on me that you’re banging the captain of the New York Slashers. Holy fuck. Why have I treated you normally until now?”
Laughing, I roll my eyes and grab her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. I’m not one for random physical contact, but I think a controlled squeeze might be the only thing that will get Via to calm down right now.
“It’s okay. Take a deep breath. He’s just a person like everyone else.”
“Sure. A normal person…on Planet Delulu,” she mocks.
