Diar muttering contritely, “We’ll do the work, Miss Maeve,” brought her back to the front of the classroom.
“I’m glad to hear it.” They seemed relieved that they were allowed to stay but groaned to hear their assigned practice for the evening—far larger than the others’.
The rest of the lesson went smoothly enough, although Maeve was glad to see the end of it. Everyone left hastily, including those who usually lingered to flirt with her after class, but that suited Maeve.
Although the days were lengthening, offering some light towalk home by, Soren still accompanied her from the school to the property line, true to his word. Unfortunately for him, he too would fall victim to her strange mood.
Especially because his quiet support felt like pressing on a bruise—and he just kept pressing.
“Are you all right, Miss Maeve?” he asked her in that gentle voice of his.
“Yes. Why?” she said, a little too sharply.
“You’ve seemed…distracted lately.”
All because of you,she grumbled to herself.
Still, her mood must’ve been noticeable if Soren was asking over it. And from how he saidlately, it seemed he’d been noticing it for longer than just today.
Fates, she didn’t know if that should impress or worry her.
At least someone notices. At least he’s asking why.
Her chest ached at the thought.
Everything was either falling apart or spinning out of her control; Maeve felt listless in a way she seriously disliked. Much as she hated to admit it, Auntie Sofie was right. Maeve needed to know, one way or another, about how Soren felt.
Get it over with. It’s one thing that can be resolved here and now.Perhaps at least one answer would make her feel better, even if she didn’t like it.
“I’ve been wanting to ask you something,” she made herself say.
“All right,” he said after a moment. “Although, you don’t usually ask to ask.”
“Because you won’t like my question.”
His gaze flicked in her direction, and she could already see him guessing at just what she was about to ask.
“Why don’t you want a mate?”
There. It’s said.
Soren’s gaze skittered away, and his ears laid flat on his head.“Ah, that…” He cleared his throat.
An interminable handful of moments passed them by before he answered, and Maeve got the feeling that it was less that he searched for the right words and more the courage to say them.
“Within our former pride, a mate,kigaraor not, wouldn’t have been possible for me,” he explained, gaze fixed on the dusky path before them. “I’ve long found it’s less painful to mourn an idea than a reality.”
Maeve nodded—that made sense, she supposed. The saying went that it was better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all, but it didn’t ring true, not always.
“And now that akigarais possible?” she asked, her own voice dropping to just above a whisper.
His whiskers twitched, and she swore his arms, bent behind him to keep his hands folded at his back, tensed.
“You plan to leave,” he reminded her, not unkindly.
Yes, she had said that. Partly as a way to feel better about being outright rejected but also because it was the truth.He really wouldn’t come with me.Not that she’d want him to—Maeve wanted to take opportunities that could help her achieve her goal, without having to account for a partner or spouse. And besides, she well knew that being perceived as available opened some doors, loathsome as that could be.
Still, she didn’t care for the logical string of thought that ended with this being allherfault.He ran away from me first.
